


Surreal, But Nice

by FestiveFerret



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: But No Actual Infidelity, But Steve is Captain America, Celebrities, Drama, Falling In Love, Happiness Isn't Happiness Without a Goat Playing the Violin, Insecurity, M/M, Mentions Of Infidelity, Notting Hill, POV Tony Stark, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Stonyclunks, Tony is not Iron Man, meet cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 14:32:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14215233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/pseuds/FestiveFerret
Summary: Tony Stark never thought he'd ever meet Captain America, let alone have his underwear tumbling around in Tony's dryer mere minutes after he broke Tony's doorknob.What even was his life?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired heavily by Notting Hill, but if you haven't seen the movie it should still make sense!
> 
> The story is done and new chapters are going up as soon as they're out of editing :D. Thanks to my boo, ashes0909 for beta. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

“It lives!” Tony pumped his fist in the air and high-fived DUM-E. The bot hummed with excitement and twisted his claw up and down. Tony had the framework set up, and the first of his chemical experiments had gone off without a hitch. Or at least without a theory-ruining hitch. The electrical fire had been very small and these kinds of chemical burns usually healed pretty fast. And that thing with the beaker tongs would stay between him and DUM-E and his left pinky toe.

Now all he needed was to move on to stage two.

He turned and reached for a haphazard pile of screwdrivers, then froze when he heard a rattling from the front doorknob. He turned to stare at it. It rattled again. The only people who knew he lived here, were also the people who would have a key or know where the spare was hidden. Tony kept his eyes on the door and bent down to pick up a wrench from the floor. It wasn’t much, and he couldn’t do much with it, but he hoped it would be threatening enough to scare off a potential burglar.

DUM-E turned his camera towards Tony then rustled around until he came up with a fire extinguisher. Tony shot him a look. Actually, as far as weapons went, it was probably better than a wrench.

The doorknob rattled again and then _snapped in two._ “Uhh,” Tony staggered backwards, but the workbench didn’t give him far to move. He could hide but he didn’t want his inventions stolen. Before he could tell JARVIS to call the police, the door swung open and a large, blue-clad shape slipped inside and stepped into the light. Tony’s mouth fell open. “Holy shit.”

The wrench slipped out of Tony’s hand and hit the floor with a clang. DUM-E, apparently deciding that was the cue to strike, released the latch on the fire extinguisher and sprayed around wildly, soaking them all with foam. The pressure rocketed him backwards, and while the part of Tony’s brain that wasn’t currently _freaking out_ was wondering if he should have named the little bastard WALL-E instead, the bot crashed into the end of the workbench, knocking a slow-motion cascade of tools and projects to the floor.

“Um,” the man said, blinking foam out of his eyes and staring at the workshop with slowly dawning horror. “I thought this was an empty warehouse.”

“Are you Captain America?” Tony managed to squeak out. His hands came up to furrow through his hair, and in the next breath his filter broke and words spilled out at random. “Either you’re Captain America or I slept through the last seven months and it’s Halloween - which actually is not outside of the realm of possibility for me - and you’re doing a _fantastic_ job because, oh my, you really fill that suit out nicely and _holy shit_. Please tell me there’s a convention nearby and you’re a really astoundingly convincing cosplayer, because if I just extinguished Captain America, I’m going to have to change my name and move to Nepal.”

The man stared at him in stunned silence for a moment then held out a hand. “Steve Rogers. Not a cosplayer.”

“Oh my god.” Tony stared at his hand for a moment that was entirely too long then shot his own out, catching Steve’s. “Tony Stark,” he blurted.

“Not for long though, right?” Steve shook his head like a dog, spraying foam all over the floor and shot Tony a lopsided smile.

“What?”

“Because you’re going to change it… and move to… uh, nevermind. I’m sorry I broke in here, I really thought it was empty. SHIELD is in the middle of an investigation, and this building had some red flags.” He frowned. “Or I’m on the wrong street.”

“Oh my god.” Tony sucked in two sharp breaths, forgetting to let the first one out in between and choking into a hacking cough.

“Are you okay?”

Tony ran through a number of things he could say in this moment, ranging from: “I have your trading cards,” through, “I named my childhood dog after you,” and all the way to, “Can I touch your bicep?” but he bit them all back and managed to squeak out, “I’ll get you a towel.”

“Uh, thank you.” Steve eyed up DUM-E who waved the fire extinguisher in the air threateningly. Tony smacked the claw out of the way and glared then hurried off into the depths of the workshop to find a towel. There weren’t any remotely clean ones so he clambered up the spiral staircase at the back to his loft bedroom and started pulling open his dresser drawers, tossing clothes on his bed while he searched.

“I’m so sorry about that,” he called down. “I don’t often have people, you know, breaking my doorknob, so I sort of figured you were here to steal things, which, obviously, you’re Captain America, so why would you do that, you don’t need to steal things, people would just give them to you.” Tony found a clean towel and scurried back downstairs, leaving wet footprints down the stairs and along the concrete floor. He shoved it at Steve, who had tried to help put back the things DUM-E had knocked over, only to have the fire extinguisher brandished at him again. “But yeah,” Tony went on, glaring at DUM-E as he walked by, “perhaps my security system leaves a little bit to be desired. He’s overactive, plus he probably didn’t recognize you. He’s not the one that spent most of his childhood sleeping on your face.”

Steve’s eyebrows rose, and Tony swallowed hard.

“I had - uh - Cap... sheets. Fuck, why did I say that?” Tony sat down hard on the edge of his workbench. Steve was smiling again though. He rubbed the towel over his hair and down his arms, then handed it back.

“Uh, well thank you. I -” He looked at his sopping clothes.

“Do you - um - need something to wear? Or I can put your clothes in the dryer? Or something… unless - your uniform is probably dry clean only.” Tony chuckled to himself then bit his lip. “Sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry.” Steve waved a hand benevolently. “I shouldn’t have broken in, I deserved what a got - worse really.” He finally seemed to take in his surroundings. Tony followed his gaze as it danced around the warehouse. It wasn’t a huge space, and the whole 30-foot-square area in front of the door was filled with long work benches and shelving units filled with Tony’s projects. At the other end of the room was a corner kitchen that was little more than a fridge, a stove and a short run of countertops with a shabby, round table stuck near it to give the impression of a room. Opposite the kitchen, the spiral staircase led up to the open loft where Tony’s bed sat and the two doors that led into his large closet and the bathroom/laundry room. Under the loft, was the old couch he and Rhodey had rescued from a street corner which was currently covered in far too much of Tony’s dirty clothes to be entertaining Captain America near, and his TV which was almost certainly the most expensive non-work-related thing he owned. It was huge. Steve’s mouth fell open. “Huh - I - wow. Do you live here?”

“Yeah… Um. Cap? You’re dripping.”

“Oh right, sorry. Do you mind if I just -” Steve grabbed the buckle on his belt and started undoing it. Tony swallowed hard, suddenly deeply aware that he didn’t know where to put his arms. He tried crossing them over his chest but that didn’t feel right. The belt hit the floor, then Steve peeled down the zipper on the front of his uniform, revealing a plain white t-shirt underneath. He unsnapped snaps and unbuckled buckles, and bit by bit the uniform fell away until he was in nothing but the shirt and his boxers. He tossed all the pieces of the uniform on the ground then plucked at his wet shirt. “Hmm.”

“Holy shit.” Tony tried to bite his tongue, but it was too late, it slipped out. He’d never seen a body so perfect and for some absolutely unbelievable reason it was being bared in his workshop. He glanced nervously at his tools - perhaps he’d been electrocuted and this was all a very pleasant dream. Or Heaven. “What?”

Steve’s brow twisted in half-confusion, half amusement. “Uh, I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh. Right. Do you - uh. If you need a fresh shirt, I have a lot. Some might even fit over your staggering biceps.”

“Oh. Uh -” That somehow made Steve look embarrassed for the first time, despite just doing a striptease in front of a total stranger that was only lacking in a heavy bass backing track. “If you don’t mind… The uniform is fine - it’s designed to dry fast, but this is just a regular undershirt.” He shrugged. “I wasn’t exactly planning on being doused today.”

Tony scrambled off the workbench and ran back upstairs. He dug through the piles of clothes to find his largest t-shirt. He couldn’t give Captain America his boxers though, could he? To be honest, more than one pair was actually Captain America themed which was probably more mortifying than complimentary. He settled for laying two t-shirts, a pair of bike shorts, and a pair of baggy sweatpants out on the bed. He leaned over the railing. “Bathroom’s up here.” He had the distinct impression that Steve would have happily stripped down completely in the middle of the workshop, but Tony was pretty sure his weak heart would implode at the sight.

Steve left his uniform on the floor and made for the stairs. DUM-E followed him, waving the fire extinguisher threateningly until Tony called “DUM-E!” and he backed off. “Sorry,” Tony said, as Steve’s face appeared around the stairs.

“Like I said, I should be the one apologizing,” Steve insisted. He stood by the bed, completely unabashed.

“Right, well.” Tony gestured to the clothes. “Help yourself. I’ll just -” He pointed then scurried after his finger towards the stairs.

Steve grabbed the sweatpants and one of the t-shirts, and Tony breathed a sigh of simultaneous relief and disappointment. He would have paid good money to see that super soldier ass in lycra, but there’s no way he would have been able to stop himself from climbing the man like a very muscly tree.

As soon as the bathroom door closed, Tony darted back to the dresser. He whipped off his wet clothes, threw on new ones then skidded down the stairs. He rinsed his hair in the contamination sink in the workshop then shook it out.

Steve still hadn’t emerged so he went over to where his uniform was puddled on the floor and lifted up one piece. Holy shit. He was touching the actual, real, Captain America armour. It was thick and heavy but flexible, and Tony yearned to see the design notes for the fabric. It was incredible. He couldn’t help holding it up in front of his chest. _Good god -_

“Tony?” Tony dropped the uniform like it had shocked him and spun around. Steve was leaning over the banister. “Do you mind if I put these in your dryer?” He held up his wet clothes.

Tony waved a hand, tipping his head down to hide his flaming cheeks. “Course not, course not. Help yourself.”

Steve disappeared back in the bathroom, and a moment later, Tony heard the dryer start trundling along. He braced both hands on the edge of the workbench and cycled through every possible conversation topic that wouldn’t be likely to have him blurting out, “Can I lick you?” two sentences in.

“Thank you.” Steve had appeared at his side.

“Um. You’re welcome?”

“So… you build stuff?” Steve poked at a half-disassembled clock on the table.

“Oh, uh yeah. I’m an inventor, sort of. Right now I’m working on a new synthetic material and if I can just finalize the chemical design, I think I’ve got a really good chance of creating something pliable with the durability of bulletproof glass.” Tony grunted as he hauled a stack of large plastic cases back up on the bench. Steve hastened to help him. “Thanks. I’m not really a chemical engineer, but I read this book and I had this idea and it wouldn’t go away so I spent a night reading the rest of the books and then, sort of… made this…” Tony trailed off as he realized he was babbling, but Steve hadn’t rolled his eyes or beat a hasty retreat. In fact, he was standing distressingly close for being the hottest man alive and also wearing Tony’s clothes.

“Wow.” Steve tipped his head and examined the strip of material Tony had suspended between two clamps on a corner of the bench. He looked genuinely curious. Tony had the urge to go on, say more, but he bit his tongue. Once he started, he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to stop. “I -” A loud beeping broke the quiet of the workshop, and Steve frowned. He ran back over to rummage through his uniform, which looked like it was already dry, and pulled out a cell phone which he pressed to his ear. “Yes. Okay. No. No, no.” He shot a look to Tony. “Yup. Alright. Five.” He hung up. “Sorry I have to go. Do you mind if I - I can I -” He looked down at the shirt he was wearing.

“Oh! Yeah shit, I mean keep them, I don’t care.” Tony cringed. The shirt was one of his favourites from MIT, but the thought that Captain America would have it probably made it worth losing. He would just have to tell himself that Steve wasn’t going to immediately throw it out like he was sure he would.

“Uh, right. Thank you.”

“Sorry,” Tony said again. Steve looked at him. “For the foam.”

“Right.” Steve tugged his uniform back on, wrestling it over the sweatpants.

“It was uh - it was really cool to meet you,” Tony gushed.

Steve shot him a strange smile then turned away. In another moment, he was out the door and gone.

Tony stood there for a long time, staring after him. There was a puddle of foam on his floor, despite his hurried change, he was still soaked and starting to itch, and the dryer was humming away upstairs _filled with Captain America’s underwear._ It was a rather insurmountable pile of evidence suggesting that what had just happened had really happened.

“Holy. Shit.”

**

Tony spent the next two days half-expecting Cap to show up again and demand his clothes back, but he didn’t. So, Tony washed them then folded them up carefully and tucked them in the back of his closet. He told himself that whenever he was sad he could just remember that he had Captain America’s underwear in his apartment, and life would be a little bit better.

He did have to get the doorknob replaced, but he swapped it out for one he built himself, JARVIS-controlled with a thumb pad and about seven times as strong as the old one. It made him feel a little better about the fact that his “apartment” was actually a converted warehouse in a pretty sketchy part of town.

Tony danced around the workshop, drill in hand and safety goggles on, air guitaring on the drillbit between screws.

“Wanna order Thai food?”

“What?!” Tony yelped, spinning around. Rhodey was sitting on a stool in the corner, leaning back against the wall with his feet up on DUM-E’s frame. “When the fuck did you get here?”

“I’ve been here for like two hours, Tony. We talked for like twenty minutes about The A-Team.”

Tony stared at him for a moment then shrugged. “If you say so.”

“So, Thai?”

“Sure.”

Rhodey turned back to his phone. Forty minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and Rhodey answered it, returning with bags of food. Tony turned the music down, and they dug in. “So what was in that package last week?” Rhodey asked.

Tony crammed a huge forkful of noodles into his mouth. “Wha papag?”

Rhodey cocked an eyebrow at him. “The package I left on your desk on like Tuesday or whatever.”

“I didn’t get a package, you’re crazy.” Tony grabbed a spring roll and bit into it, spraying lettuce everywhere.

“Why you gotta eat like a five-year-old, man? It’s a wonder you ever get laid.”

“Ha, joke’s on you, I don’t.”

Rhodey dug around through a pile of papers and socket sets then came up triumphant with a package wrapped in bright green tape. It was unlabelled. “It was out front of your door when I came over, and I was curious cause it looked hand delivered instead of mailed. So I put it on your desk since you were sleeping. Come on, Tony, how could you have missed it? It’s bright green.”

Tony took the package and looked it over. He shrugged. “I dunno, I must have been in the zone.” There was no marking at all on the tape, so Tony grabbed a knife and ripped it open. Inside was his MIT t-shirt, his pants - both cleaned and perfectly folded - and a note. “Holy shit.”

“Why is someone mailing you clothes?”

“It’s - uh - I lent them to someone I bumped into one day. He got his clothes wet, so I helped him out. I honestly never expected him to bring them back.”

“Be pretty rude not to.” Rhodey shrugged.

“Yeah… he’s pretty busy, though. I think.” Tony shot Rhodey a careful look, but he didn’t look overly curious. He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t telling Rhodey who it had been - it was either because he was sure Rhodey would never believe him, or because he wanted to keep the surreal experience for himself. Tony unfolded the clothes, resisting the urge to see if they smelled like Cap - he knew they wouldn’t, they’d obviously been washed - then tore open the note.

_Tony -_   
_Sorry again about the B &E the other day. And thank you for loaning these to me. It was very kind of you. It was nice to meet you too, the bizarre circumstances notwithstanding, and I’ve been thinking about your synthetic fabric project since I left. I’d really love to hear more. I have some ideas, and I think SHIELD might be able to use it, if your company would be interested in the contract. I’d like to meet up sometime, if you want to. We could grab coffee, or I could come by your workshop again (I’ll knock this time, I promise) if you don’t mind showing me what you’re working on?_

_Anyway, feel free to give me a call._

_Thanks again,  
Steve_

Tony read the note four times. Was Captain America asking him to go for coffee?

No.

Maybe?

It was a work coffee though. Not a _date coffee._

That much was obvious.

Was it?

“Tony?”

Tony looked up, and Rhodey was staring at him. “What?”

“You haven’t spoken for like five minutes, you okay?”

“Yeah, I just - I was having a brainwave…”

Rhodey snorted and picked up his pad thai again. “Yeah, I figured. Look I’d better go, but I’ll see you at Pep’s party, yeah?”

“Mmhm.” Tony looked back down at the note. He vaguely registered Rhodey packing up some of the food and the door opening and closing. Tony stared at the note some more. There was a business card stapled to the bottom with a number on it. Before he could talk himself out of it, Tony grabbed his phone and dialled.

“SHIELD reception, how may I direct your call?”

“Ca- Um - Steve Rogers, please?”

“One moment.”

Tony bounced around the workshop on nervous feet while the hold music played.

“Captain Rogers’ office. How may I help you?” It was a man’s voice, but not Steve’s.

“Uh - this is Tony Stark?”

“Yes, sir?” The receptionist sounded both bored and unimpressed.

“He, uh, Steve asked me to call him.”

“Mhm. Right. You’d like to set up an interview? Which publication are you with?”

“Oh. No. We - we met? He sent me a note…”

“Okay. I can take your name and number, and he’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Or if you’re with a publication, I can arrange an interview during Captain Rogers’ press hours.”

Tony briefly considered faking it, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep that up for more than five seconds. He had exactly zero expectation that the skeptical receptionist would pass on his name and number, but it was all he had. He rattled them off, thanked him, then hung up with a sigh.

He was desperate to see Steve again, but between the guard dog on the phone and not finding the package for over a week, it didn’t seem meant to be. He shrugged, tossing the clothes on a chair by the kitchen but tucking the note under a magnet on the fridge - just a keepsake from one of the wilder moments in his life - and grabbed a soda.

Back to work.

**

Tony had completely given up all hope of seeing Steve Rogers ever again - besides on TV - so of course, he ran into him the next day.

He usually made his own coffee, but every now and then, he got a craving for ten pounds of sugar rush along with his caffeine hit, so he’d walk the two blocks to Starbucks. He’d just ordered and was heading for the pickup counter to wait for a cup the size of a VW bug with his name spelled incorrectly on it when he turned around and walked right into Steve.  
Well, not _right_ into Steve, but into the edge of the crowd that surrounded Steve. He was signing autographs and shaking hands and generally being amazing, right in the middle of the coffee shop. Tony hung by the edge of the group, not sure if he should say something or slip away. The thing was, he really wanted to see Steve again. It wasn’t just that he was Captain America; in the short glimpse that Tony’d had, Steve was kind, funny, _and interested in his tech._ That was a heretofore unheard of combination.

But Steve was fending off a pressing crowd of admirers, and it seemed weird to shove his way to the front just because he’d sprayed him with a fire extinguisher once. Tony slipped awkwardly past the squealing girls and settled against the wall at the corner of the counter. He was unable to stop himself from tracking Steve’s path around the cafe out of the corner of his eye.

It took a lifetime, all through which Steve let himself be harrassed by adoring fans, but finally, they called out “Terry?” and handed him his drink. He shuffled his way to the door, but when he looked up  - to make sure he wasn’t about to spill triple-shot, venti, half-sweet, soy, caramel macchiato (with an extra shot of whatever heroin kept him coming back to pay seven dollars for sugar sludge wrapped in styrofoam) all over a senior citizen - he caught Steve’s eye. Steve shot him a bland, friendly, press smile, clearly recognizing him, then turned back to the crowd. Tony stuttered to a stop and hovered uncomfortably for a moment, slipping down into a pit of embarrassment.

Steve’s note had just been politeness, of course. He didn’t actually want to see Tony or talk to him again. He’d probably told the receptionist to fend it off if Tony called. But of course, Tony had chosen to embarrass himself instead. And now, now it was painfully clear that Steve wasn’t interested and wanted to make sure Tony understood. He didn’t even get a real smile or a wink. Steve hadn’t even looked that happy to see him.

Tony shoved his way through the hyper-caffeinated crowd and walked out, his stomach churning unpleasantly in a way that had nothing to do with the mouthful of instant sugar-rush he’d just downed to hide his sullen pout. Why was he bothered about a guy he’d only met once, anyway? Sure, he was a famous superhero, but it wasn’t like Tony had a shot or anything.

He was almost at the corner when he heard rushed footsteps behind him.

“Tony, wait!” Tony spun around and there was Steve of all people, trotting down the street, looking furtively behind him. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Of course.”

Steve took Tony’s arm gently and hustled him over into the arch of a private doorway. “Sorry. It was kind of a madhouse in there. If I’d tried to talk to you, you would have had eight reporters following you home.” Steve ran a stiff hand through his hair then let out a long sigh. Tony could see some of the tension drain out of his shoulders. “So, uh, I never heard from you - which is fine! - but I was just wondering if, since you don’t want to - uh - hang out - if there was someone I could still contact at SI about the contract? I don’t want to be pushy or anything, you can tell me to sho-”

“I do want to hang out!” Tony blurted out.

“I - what?”

“I called you. But your receptionist wouldn’t put me through. He kept asking me which publication I was with, but if I were with a publication it would probably be called Alcohol and Artificial Intelligence or something and they probably wouldn't let me interview you anyway.”

Steve blinked at Tony for a moment then smiled. “I’m so sorry.” He rolled his eyes. “Jeffery can be a bit… restrictive. I should have given him your name. But, you’d - uh - like to meet up sometime? Really?” Steve shifted his weight from foot to foot, his impressive super soldier body suddenly resembling that of a nervous middle schooler.

“Yes.”

“Okay, perfect,” he breathed.

“You should come over to my place again. So I can show you my work. And I promise DUM-E won’t soak you this time.”

Steve beamed. The light that hadn’t been in his eyes inside the coffee shop flickered back to life. “Alright. I’d love to.”

“Also, I still have your underwear,” Tony added.

All in all, his second time meeting Captain America was a rousing success.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony changed five times in the three hours leading up to Steve’s arrival. They had arranged a day and time at Starbucks so Tony wouldn't have to brave the gauntlet of Jeffrey again, and as it ticked closer and closer, Tony panicked more and more.

The concerns, he decided, were thus:

  1. Was this a date?
  2. Was Steve actually interested in the synthetic material or was that all a ruse to get to see Tony? (see 1)
  3. Was this a good shirt or should he wear the blue one because Cap probably liked blue, or maybe he was sick of blue and - yeah this one was all wrong, either way -



Tony tugged off his shirt again. Then the door opened, and Steve stepped inside.

“Uh..” Steve stared at Tony’s naked chest. “I know I said I’d knock this time, but the door just opened…”

“Yessss,” Tony hissed out between clenched teeth. “I told JARVIS to let you in as soon as you got here, and apparently he took that very literally.”

“Oh. Who’s JARVIS?” Steve looked around, and Tony took the chance to tug his shirt back on, deciding that this shirt was actually the perfect shirt after all because it was one that was currently in his hands.

“My AI. He runs the place. Say hi, JARVIS.”

“Hi, JARVIS,” JARVIS said flatly.

“I make him do that.” Tony grinned. “He loves it.”

“Wow. You built him? He’s like… an electronic butler?”

“Sure, kind of.” Tony chuckled. “More like a Smart House, but you’ve got the idea.” Tony trailed off, watching Steve hovering by the door. The air had grown heavy between them while Tony’s mind bounced violently between worries 1 and 2 until he was dizzy. “Hungry?” He zipped over to the kitchen in the corner and ripped the fridge open, grabbing Steve’s note at the same time and dropping it between the counter and the stove to hide it. He’d dig it out later. “I’ve got… milk… that’s probably bad. And pickles…”

“Um. I’m okay, thanks.” There was something in Steve’s voice, and when Tony looked up, he was pretty sure Steve was laughing at him.

“I have coffee?”

Steve's smile deepened. “Perfect.”

Coffees in hand, Tony led the way back to the workbenches. “So… are you really interested in this stuff?”

Steve nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah of course. I don’t know anything about how all of this works, but I know SHIELD has been trying to improve the fabric in our tac vests for a long time without much luck.”

Okay. So worry 2 was off the table, but worry 1 only amplified. If Steve wasn’t interested in the tech, it would be pretty clear what he _was_ interested in (read: Tony) but technically it was possible for him to be interested in both.

So Tony was going to have to play it cool.

Ha.

His resolution to play it cool lasted all of five minutes before his traitorous brain dove deep into the science and he went on a full-on babbling spree about rigidity, durability, and practical applications. Steve spoke up occasionally to ask a question or clarify something, but mostly he sipped his coffee and let Tony talk. Which, really, someone probably should have advised him not to do.

After over an hour of chattering, Tony rounded the table, holding up a diagram of polymer chains, and trailed off distractedly when he realized that the movement had put him right up against Steve’s side where he sat on a stool. Tony caught Steve’s eye, and Steve smiled, slow and easy, warmth spreading across his face. He leaned in a little, eyes staying fixed on Tony’s, and Tony could feel the heat radiating off his chest. _1!_ his brain screamed. _This is 1!_

Tony was 93.8% percent sure that Steve was going to kiss him - other options included informing him he had something stuck in his teeth (0.8%), informing him quietly that he hadn’t understood a word he’d said for the last hour and a half (1.22%), and leaning in to whisper that Tony badly needed to calm down (4.9%) - but JARVIS chose that moment to interrupt.

“A reminder that you need to leave in thirty minutes in order to arrive at Miss Pott’s gathering within the parameters for fashionably late instead of unfashionably tardy,” he droned.

“Shit!” Tony cursed, and Steve bounced back out of his space. Tony snapped a hand out to grab the edge of his shirt, not wanting him to move too far away, then pulled it back when he realised they probably weren’t really at the shirt grabbing stage yet. “I’m so sorry. My CEO and best friend, Pepper is having a birthday party tonight and I, shit, I really can’t miss it. I should have set this up for another day. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay.”

Tony tried not to be disappointed that Steve’s wasn’t more disappointed. “I really wanted to, uh, you know, get you dinner and stuff. And maybe talk about something that wasn’t, you know...” he poked the diagram “- molecules.”

Steve smiled and shifted close again. “Me too. But we can do that another time? Or - uh - I don’t know if this is like a small, close friends thing, but… I like parties?”

“You want to come? To Pepper’s party?”

“I mean, only if it’s okay.”

“I - shit, of course it’s okay. They’ll go bananas to meet you. But just warning you, I don’t think I’ve shown up to one of these things with a date in about seven hundred years so you’re going to get the whole, you know.” Tony made a vague gesture. Then he realized he’d said date even though Worry 1 was still very much on the table, and he bit his lip.

But Steve smiled, and there was a cheeky edge to it this time. “Even if your date is Captain America?”

Tony swallowed hard so the next words would be actual words and not breathless squeaks. “I’d say, especially if my date is Captain America.”

Steve winked. “Bring it on.”

**

Tony counted off the seconds while he waited for the door to open. Steve waited placidly behind him, close enough that Tony could feel the heat radiating off his chest. The door flung open a moment later, and Pepper beamed at Tony, then her jaw dropped as her eyes flicked over his shoulder.

“Hey Pep!” Tony pushed forward and drew her into a hug. He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Be cool, please,” he muttered into her ear. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks, Tony.” Her eyes followed him for a moment then jumped back to where Steve hovered in the doorway. “Hi.”

“Pep, this is Steve. Steve, Pepper.”

“Happy birthday,” Steve said kindly, holding a hand out to shake.

Pepper took it in hers, and Tony could see the moment when she forced herself to ignore the fact that Captain America was standing in her foyer, and shifted from a stunned stare to a genuine smile. “Nice to meet you, Steve. Thank you.”

She ushered them into the living room, but Tony was two steps ahead of her. He gave the room a pointed look, settling his gaze on Rhodey for a moment and raising an eyebrow. But there wasn’t time to say anything, Steve walked in behind him and gave everyone a dorky little wave while the whole room screeched to a halt.

There were two full beats of awkwardness, and then Pepper - ever the most wonderful person in the room - said, “Tony’s here! And this is Steve,” and then went around the room pointing everyone out for Steve.

He shook everyone’s hand and smiled politely, repeating their names softly in a way that made it clear he was absolutely not going to forget them. It took a while for the party to settle into full swing again, but after a few minutes of awkward, stilted conversation, where everyone kept shooting Steve entirely unsubtle side-eyes, Rhodey pulled him into conversation, and the novelty faded somewhat.

Once everyone had their first beer or glass of wine in them, they relaxed, and the party shifted into full swing. Pepper’s apartment was packed, and Steve was a hit, obviously, swanning around the party with Tony hanging uselessly off his arm, and charming everyone more than the default “omg he’s a celebrity” amount. For the first time in his entire life, Tony was out schmoozed, and he was surprised to find how much he enjoyed staying quiet and listening and watching. Mostly watching that ass, because holy shit.

Everytime one of his friends caught his eye outside of Steve’s field of vision - and Tony hoped desperately that the supersoldier serum hadn’t put secret eyes in the back of his head - they shot him a look that was a rather amusing mix between confusion, fear, envy, excitement, and stomach ache. Steve, for his part, either didn’t notice or was used to blocking it out. As usual, he was perfect.

Most of Pepper’s more distant acquaintances drifted out over the next few hours, and by the time Rhodey pulled the cake out of the fridge, the only other guests that remained were Clint, Jane, Jane’s slightly odd boyfriend, Thor, and Tony’s old buddy from university, Bruce.

The cake was one of those cheap, grocery store sheet cakes you could ask a bored high school student with an icing tube to spell something wrong on, which happened to be one of Pepper’s guilty pleasure foods. She laughed when she saw it then downed the rest of her champagne before hiding her face in her hand and groaning with embarrassment while they sung Happy Birthday to her in a variety of keys and rhythms.

Rhodey sliced his way through “Happy Birthday, Piper” in curls of blue sugar and started handing out pieces of cake. But when he handed Pepper hers, she pouted.

“Why don’t I get the piece with the flower on it?” she asked, eyes twinkling.

Rhodey eyed her up. “You got the piece with the ‘P’ on it. That’s not good enough for you?”

“I think I deserve the flower.”

Clint brandished a fork at her. “What makes you deserve the flower?”

“Well, I’m the birthday girl.”

“Yeah, and you got plenty of presents to prove it,” Tony shot back.

“Fine then,” she sighed. “I’m the first of you lot to hit thirty. I need the extra icing to comfort me as I bid farewell to my twenties.”

Rhodey snorted. “Well, if that’s the game, I think Clint has you beat. He may not be thirty, but he’s twenty-eight - so carreening steadily on towards the retirement home - he’s an orphan, he worked for a circus - which should be enough on its own - and I’m pretty sure he’s accumulated enough frequent flyer miles at the ER to earn a free set of x-rays next time he breaks something. Which will likely be tomorrow.”

Clint nodded along with it, then held a plate out expectantly. Rhodey reached for the flower piece then paused. “Then again, Jane doesn’t have it all that great either.”

“That’s true,” Jane piped up. “My research, which is my life’s work, is going nowhere. Everyone in my department thinks I’m crazy. I share a tiny house with my research assistant - who is closer to a Masters in Instagram than in physics - which means that when my out-of-country boyfriend _finally_ gets to come visit me, we get exactly zero time alone. I think that’s worth a flower.” Thor nodded beside her, his mouth already full of cake.

“At least you have a grant for your research,” Bruce piped up. “I’m starting yet another pointless degree because exactly no one is interested in hiring me.”

They all, as one, turned to Nat who was sitting next to him. But she just reached out and slid one of the undecorated squares of cake onto a plate then stuck her fork in it. “Fuck no, I’m awesome,” she said then took a bite.

They laughed while Rhodey considered the group. “You all make very good points… but what about Tony?”

“Yeah, what about Tony?” Tony echoed. He liked that kind of icing, right up until he didn’t, which he felt was the only decent approach to a foodstuff made out of weaponized sugar. And his life was shit, he deserved a chance to make himself sick on red food dye number 48 as a way to drown his sorrows. He waved a hand beseechingly at Rhodey.

“Tony sits alone by himself all day in his dingy workshop and churns out inventions that he’ll never see any real profit from because he signed away all the ownership of his business to Pepper. No parents, hardly any friends. Used to be cute, but is now kind of scrawny and irritating. Can’t keep a boyfriend, or girlfriend, for more than five minutes. And he’s certain never to hear from Steve again when he hears his nickname in school was Sparky.”

Steve turned to him with a raised eyebrow, mouthing, “Sparky?” and Tony groaned and dropped his face into his hands.

“Yeah, that’s pretty depressing,” Clint agreed. He gestured towards the flower. “All yours.”

Pepper nodded and murmurs of assent filled the room. Tony willed his cheeks not to heat and tried to take his shaming and pure sugar flavoured defeat with dignity.

“Wait.”

Everyone turned to look at Steve.

“What? I don’t even get a chance to try for it?”

Laughter rippled through the crowd but Rhodey held out his hand in a “go ahead” gesture, and now Steve looked a little nervous to have all eyes on him.

“Well… I was born in a time when boiled potatoes was the height of cuisine,” he said, and the group laughed again. “I was sickly and scrawny until scientists performed sketchy experiments on me, which made me no longer sickly and scrawny but the property of the US government. I haven’t had a vacation since… 1926? I had to learn to use a microwave at twenty-seven, and I’m still not entirely convinced they don’t work on magic. Uh... my first love is sixty-seven years older than me and only remembers my name on the good days.” The room fell tense and quiet. “And, apparently, crashing a plane into the ocean, dying, then coming back to life in a new century has a tendency to mess you up enough that it warrants twice weekly mandatory therapy visits.”

There was a full beat of silence.

Then Rhodey snorted and shook his head. “Nah, not good enough, Steve. You’re Captain fucking America. You can't fool us, sorry.”

Everyone laughed, Steve included, and Tony was filled with that warm fuzzy feeling of having all the people he liked in the same room and getting along. He shifted a little closer to Steve so their shoulders touched, and Steve shot him a soft smile that awakened a whole fleet of hyped-up butterflies in his stomach.

Rhodey divided up the cake and gave the flower to Pepper anyway. Steve smiled down at his piece of cheap, grocery store, vanilla cake like it was the most interesting food he’d ever seen, and Tony wondered how many of his meals had been in the SHIELD mess hall since he’d woken from the ice.

But before Steve could take a bite, his phone rang. He answered it with a frown, pushing himself to his feet and muttering quietly so no one could hear. They all shared curious looks, but said nothing, turning to their cake. Tony could just make out the frustrated edge to Steve’s voice, and wasn’t surprised when he came back unsmiling.

“I’m sorry, Pepper, I’m going to have to leave,” he said. “But thank you, it was a lovely party.”

“Thank you for coming,” Pepper said kindly. “It was amazing to meet you,” she stuttered out, the first gushing Tony had seen from her, well, ever.

Steve went around the room, shaking hands, then came to stand next to Tony who had risen to his feet. “I’ll walk you out,” Tony said.

In the hall, Steve shifted close until Tony pressed his back against the apartment door. “I’m really sorry. I got called in.”

“I figured. It’s fine.”

“I had a really good time.” It was earnest enough that Tony forced himself to discount the possibility that Steve had faked the call to get out of their date. He looked honestly put out that he couldn't stay.

“Me too. Thanks for coming.”

“I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but it was nice being around, well, normal people for a while. I like your friends.” Steve smiled at Tony in a way that was only three or four watts below beaming, and Tony’s knees went weak.

“My friends like you too,” Tony breathed stupidly. His brain short-circuited when Steve leaned closer, his lips mere inches from Tony’s.

“I like you…” Steve’s eyes flicked down to Tony’s mouth.

Before something else could interrupt them again, Tony reached out, grabbed two handfuls of Steve’s jacket and hauled him in, drawing their mouths together. Steve instantly sunk into the kiss, his hands landing on the door on either side of Tony’s head and his thigh sneaking between Tony’s legs. An altogether too high-pitched moan leaked out of Tony’s throat, and a small thump came from the other side of the door. Tony pulled back frowning, and Steve grinned. He gestured towards the door with his head, and Tony nodded, rolling his eyes. He made a point of shifting so his hair covered the peephole out of Pepper's apartment then tugged Steve back in.

“I really do have to go,” Steve mumbled against his lips.

“I know.”

Steve made no move to end the kiss, and Tony certainly wasn’t going to stop it. He could feel it all the way down to his toes which curled in his shoes. Steve was warm and pressed against him, pinning him tantalizingly to the door.

But with a final soft press of his lips, Steve sighed and pulled back. He pressed his forehead to Tony’s. “Can we try again tomorrow? I can come over again, same time?”

“Please.”

“Okay.” Steve grinned at him again, and Tony couldn't help but grin back. He couldn't remember the last time he’d felt like this. Steve’s eyes twinkled. “So, ‘Sparky,’ huh?” he said cheekily.

Tony shoved at Steve’s chest, separating them and pushing Steve towards the exit. “Yeah, I liked electricity, okay?” he rolled his eyes. “Go save the world, hot shot.”

Steve smiled at him for a few long, slow breaths then turned and disappeared down the hallway, his phone snapping back to his ear.

The reality of what had just happened slammed into Tony like a Mack truck. “Shit.” He slid down the door until he hit the floor, then thumped his head back against it. “Holy shit.”

The door opened suddenly, and with a yelp, Tony tumbled backwards until he was flat on his back, half in Pepper’s apartment and half in the hall. Pepper looked down at him. “Holy _shit,_ Tony!”

He blinked up at her, in utter disbelief that all of that had really just happened to him. Was he dating Captain America?? He broke into a wide smile and spread his arms out to the side with a happy sigh. _“I know.”_

**

This time when Steve came over, Tony felt better prepared. He ordered food in advance and kept it warm in the oven. He picked a shirt at random and told JARVIS to holler at him if he tried to change. He also told JARVIS to let Steve in as soon as he had arrived _and_ knocked _and_ Tony had said come in.

The knock came three minutes before nine and Tony shot to his feet, calling him in and nearly tripping over nothing as he tried to stumble towards the door. Steve broke into a smile as soon as his eyes landed on Tony - who was fully clothed this time - and Tony grinned back, the wonderful, flustered feeling Steve always set in him reigniting. “Hi.”

“Hey, you.” Steve crossed the workshop, swinging the door shut behind him, and came to a stop in front of Tony. They hung in a brief moment of uncertainty, then Steve dipped down, and Tony pressed up, and their lips met between them. It was a quick, soft kiss, but Pop Rocks started fizzing in Tony’s stomach, and no amount of swallowing would stop them.

“Hi.”

Steve grinned. “So you said.”

“I thought it bore repeating.” Tony dipped his eyes then brought them back up, peeking out from under his eyelashes.

Steve laughed. “Well, then. This bears repeating too.” He tucked his arm around Tony and pulled him in for a more heated kiss, slotting their lips together and pulling Tony impossibly closer until he felt dizzy, drunk on Steve.

“Wow.” He blinked up at Steve and tried to remember words, his name, the date, anything really. The oven dinged. Food. He had food. “I have food.”

“Good.” Steve released him.

They fumbled their way through getting out the food and dishes, stopping every now and then to make out against the counter. They finally parted long enough to sit at the table and eat their dinner. They shared Steve’s piece of cake from the party, which Tony had rescued and saved for him, fighting with their forks over the last sickly-sweet bite. It was silly and happy, and more than once their kisses broke into laughter, and Tony couldn’t remember the last time things had been so easy.  

“I thought about calling you last night,” Tony said, “but then I realized the only number I have for you puts me through to Jeffery the Gatekeeper.”

Steve’s brow creased. “Uh, yeah. I actually don’t have a cell phone. Well, I do, but it’s only for SHIELD. I’ve never needed one. But… I would have liked it if you’d called me.” He smiled shyly. “Guess I should get one."

“Hey, if you want a phone…” Tony stood up and crossed the workshop. “I’ve got StarkPhones for days here.”

Steve followed him. “You don't have to - wow. Okay, that’s a lot of phones.”

Tony looked down at the bin he’d pulled out. “Mhm. Some of them even do cool stuff. But you should take this one. It’s one of the high-security models.” He handed it over. “You’ll need to get a SIM card for it. But at least you’ll know it’s a good one. And if it breaks, you can bring it right to the guy that made it.” Tony winked. “Free service.”

Steve took it and turned it over in his hands, then turned a cheeky smirk up to Tony. “Oh no, I know what tech support is worth. Especially to a fossil like me. I insist you get something in return.”

Tony grinned and let himself be pulled into another filthy kiss. He could certainly get used to this. He wound his arms around Steve’s neck and ground his hips forward. Steve gasped and pulled back a little. His eyes had gone dark and his skin was flushed. “I thought we were going to look at the new fabrics again?” he murmured.

Tony looked up at him through his lashes, then pressed forward, making it clear what he was “up” for. “It can wait. If you want -?”

Steve stumbled forward, pressing Tony back towards the stairs, his hands pawing desperately at the back of Tony’s shirt. “Oh, I want,” he breathed.

Tony tripped over the first step, but Steve’s strong arms caught him around his middle and lifted him onto his toes. Steve guided him up the stairs, drawing a line of kisses across his jaw and down his neck. His mouth was hot and insistent on Tony’s skin, and the sensation shot straight south. He ground his hips against Steve’s thigh as they tumbled onto the bed together.

“Is this okay?” Steve breathed as he shifted into the vee of Tony’s legs and used one hand to pull Tony’s leg up around his hip.

Tony realized with the sudden intensity of a freight train crashing into a painted-on tunnel that he was in his bed making out with _Captain America._ “Oh my god,” he groaned.

“What’s wrong?” Steve propped himself up on his hands and looked down at Tony, brow creasing.

Tony grabbed two handfuls of his shirt and tugged him back down. “Abso-fucking-lutely nothing is wrong. I just wish I could go back in time and tell fourteen year old me that this was going to happen someday.” Tony rolled his hips up again, and Steve’s breath caught but he was less responsive, more like grinding against a pillar made of muscle than a willing participant. Now it was Tony’s turn to ask,” What’s wrong?”

“I -” Steve bit his lip. “This is dumb, but, uh, you like me for me, right?”

“Do I -? _What?_ ”

Steve shifted awkwardly, the seam of his jeans digging into Tony’s thigh, but Tony didn’t push him away for fear he’d bolt out of the bed entirely. “It’s not just Captain America that you -”

“Oh god, no!” Tony cut him off. “No, shit. No. You’re like - wow. And here. You like DUM-E even though he sprayed you with CO2, and you laugh at my really astonishingly stupid jokes, and sometimes you get this little half-smirk in the corner of your mouth, and I’m pretty sure that you’re actually a total asshole in the best possible way. Captain America is just like not - _fuck -_ You’re all that and then the prettiest abs I’ve ever seen in my life. And between my legs right now.” It wasn’t entirely English, but Steve had started smiling at the beginning of Tony’s impromptu gush, and was grinning wildly now, so Tony hoped somewhere in there, he’d said the right thing.

“Okay.” Steve bent down and kissed him so hard Tony could feel the circuits in his brain shorting out, sending little shocks zipping across the back of his neck. He brought his legs up to wind around Steve’s waist and that made Steve roll them until Tony was straddling his hips. The kiss turned decidedly filthy, Steve licking into his mouth and pressing little whines out of Tony’s throat with the hands that skated up the back of his shirt.

Tony ran his hands roughly down Steve’s chest, rucking the soft fabric of his shirt over his pecs, his abs. He arched into the touch, and Tony gripped the hem of his shirt when he reached the bottom. “Can I?” he asked.

“Yes,” Steve groaned. “Anything.”

Tony pushed the shirt up, and Steve sat up enough to tug it over his head, then flopped down again, hooking his hand around the back of Tony’s neck so he could pull him down too. Tony braced his hands on Steve’s impossibly smooth, hard chest and gave in to the kiss. And good god, could Steve kiss. He tipped his chin up to get a better angle and teased the edges of Tony’s lips with his tongue. One hand was still gripping Tony’s thigh, but the one around his neck shifted forward to cup Tony’s jaw and there was something so soft and intimate in that, compared to the filthy way Steve was licking into his mouth, that made Tony thrum from head to foot.

“Steve,” he breathed, not sure that he’d remain on this plane of existence much longer if he didn’t get a hand on his body somewhere a little more _pressing._

“Can I touch you?” Steve asked, as if that was even a thing.

Tony responded with a noise that started out as a “yes please” and broke into a strangled gurgle as Steve did just that, dropping his hand from Tony’s jaw to cup the bulge in his pants. “Nuh,” Tony said eloquently, rutting into Steve’s hand.

Steve groaned and brought both hands to the hem of Tony’s shirt. When it came off, Tony was struck with a brief moment of self-consciousness, because as much as, yes, he did like Just Steve, he was still straddling Captain America’s hips, and Captain America had, actually, the most perfect body in human creation. But Steve raked his eyes down over Tony’s chest, nowhere near on Steve’s level, but still sleek and sculpted from years of hefting supplies in his workshop, and breathed out, “You’re so fucking hot.” And that was pretty much it for Tony because not only did Steve think he was hot - _he’d made Cap swear._

“I’m going to die happy,” Tony muttered, claiming Steve’s mouth in another reckless kiss.

“Please don’t,” Steve said with a laugh against Tony’s lips. “I kind of like you alive.” His hands dropped to Tony’s fly and started to unbutton it.

Tony squeaked then wished he hadn’t because that was not a cool noise. “Then you probably don’t want to do that because holy shit that’s going to kill me.”

Steve hummed then pulled down the zipper. He slipped his hand inside, pressing warm and insistent against Tony’s aching cock. He smiled at Tony’s gasp. “I think I’ll take my chances.”

Tony’s mind blanked out at the feeling of Steve’s hand on him. He was vaguely aware that his mouth was hanging open in a particularly unsexy expression but he couldn't seem to stop. He rutted forward against Steve’s palm and groaned at the rush of pleasure the friction elicited.

Steve’s knee bent behind his back, and Tony startled back into action. He tried to wriggle out of his jeans, but couldn’t while straddling Steve so he tipped to his side and shoved them down and kicked them off. Steve chuckled at him, then did the same, somehow managing to make it look smooth and graceful the way he did it. Steve rolled onto his side so they were facing each other, propped up on their elbows. His eyes raked over Tony’s skin leaving little trails of fire in their wake.

Steve’s hand landed on Tony’s hip then skated up his flank, over his ribs, across his chest and up to cup his jaw again. Tony melted forward, bringing their lips together, soft and tender this time, but eager too. Steve’s leg slipped between Tony’s, giving him something to press up against, all hot, smooth skin, and Tony had the fleeting panic that he was _humping Captain America’s leg,_ then he took a breath and when he let it out, he let go of Cap. This was Steve in his bed, and Steve liked him. If he freaked out too much, he wouldn’t enjoy this. And so far… there was every indication that this was going to be very enjoyable.

Steve’s lips dropped from Tony’s mouth to his neck, nibbling their way down to his collarbone. He worked his way over Tony’s chest, easing him on to his back again. One hand came up to lightly circle Tony’s cock, and Steve’s eyes flicked up to meet his. “This okay?”

“More than okay,” Tony sighed out, trying to resist the urge to thrust up into Steve’s too-loose hold.

Steve tried to shuffle further down, but he hit the end of the bed, and instead of asking Tony to move up, he put his hands on either side of Tony’s waist and pushed, easily sliding him the last two feet up the bed.

“Whoa.”

“Sorry.” Steve winced.

“No, that was, uh, really hot.”

Steve pressed his face into Tony’s inner thigh, settled between his legs now, and the movement seemed a bit more embarrassed than affectionate, and that was adorable as fuck. Tony reached down and furrowed his fingers through Steve’s hair, the only part of him he could easily reach from this angle.

“Um.” Steve brought his hand up to his face to scrub over his eyes, but since his arm had been resting under Tony’s leg, it brought his thigh up against his cheek at the same time, and Steve was briefly distracted, pressing kisses up Tony’s leg. It was a torturous combination of arousing and ticklish, and Tony dug his fingers into the sheets to keep himself from squeezing Steve’s head between his legs. “It’s - uh - been a little while.” Steve continued under his breath.

“That’s okay,” Tony breathed out. It was actually nice, knowing he wasn’t just another notch in the bedpost of someone who definitely didn’t seem like a bedpost notcher but wouldn’t want for opportunities if he decided to start… notching. “I’m good with whatever.”

Steve kissed his way further up Tony’s thigh to the crease of his hip. “Can I -?”

_“Please.”_ Tony rolled his hips as Steve darted his tongue out to tease his length. “Oh, uh, the condoms are in the drawer?” Tony gestured vaguely. He could feel Steve’s hot breath on him, and it was hard to concentrate on what Steve was saying in reply.

“I’m actually - the, uh, super soldier thing. I can’t catch or carry anything. So... if you don’t mind, I’d like to taste you?”

“Well, fuck if that isn’t the hottest thing ever.” Steve grinned up at him, then sucked him down to the base. Tony choked on air and tried not to fold around him like a touchy switchblade. “Holy shit.”

All hesitancy apparently gone, Steve shot his tongue out and licked his way up Tony’s cock before sucking him down again. Tony’s legs clamped around Steve's ears, and Steve hooked a hand over each of his thighs, guiding his feet up over his shoulders. Tony gripped the sheets and leaned, arching his back a little. Steve was relentless with his tongue and it was taking all Tony had to just keep breathing. It built slowly, and then all of a sudden, like a heavy stone being tipped over the edge of a steep hill, he was careening inexorably towards completion. “Ah, shit, Steve I’m - ah - I’m close -”

Steve hummed and kept up the rhythmic bobbing of his head, moaning in satisfaction when Tony tensed and let loose, pulsing into the wet heat of Steve’s mouth. Steve half-spilled, half-swallowed, grinning like a satisfied cat as he slipped free of Tony’s cock. He smiled up at Tony and leaned against the inside of his thigh, lazily tracing a fingertip over the curve of his hip.

“Wow.” Tony struggled to reboot, but none of his hard drives would spin up. “I think you just sucked my BIOS out through my dick.”

Steve laughed, and Tony cringed, wishing he wasn’t too boneless to slap a hand over his face. “I don’t know what that means,” Steve whispered into the soft dip of Tony’s hip bone.

“It’s uh, it doesn't matter. Come here.” Tony tugged at Steve’s shoulders, and he slithered up Tony’s body until they were pressed chest to chest. Tony used two handfuls of Steve’s hair to pull him down into a kiss. He licked into Steve’s mouth and found his own taste there, making him groan. “Give me a moment, I’ll return the favour.”

Steve stuttered politely that Tony didn’t have to, but Tony found the energy he’s lacked earlier and slapped a hand over Steve’s mouth instead. “It will be my genuine pleasure to get my mouth on that beautiful cock, but I have to remember how to breathe first.”

Steve made an adorable kind of squeak and settled at Tony’s side, pulling him up against his chest and pressing kisses to his hair and forehead. Tony shuffled up as close as he could and slipped his thigh between Steve’s, giving him a little friction to rub lazily against. It didn’t take long before the thrill of having all those muscles wrapped around and pressed up against him set Tony in motion, breath recovered. He eased Steve onto his back and wriggled down the bed until he could settle between his legs. He stroked his palm up the inside of Steve’s thigh, feeling the muscle twitch under his touch, then followed it with a line of wet kisses. Steve sighed and let his head drop back onto the pillows.

Tony couldn’t help licking a wet stripe up the underside of Steve’s cock, but he squeaked when Steve’s legs twitched up to wrap around his shoulders. “Shit, I’m sorry.” Steve relaxed again.

“I don’t mind.” Tony laughed. “Just don’t crush me with your super soldier quads, okay?” Tony winked.

Steve groaned and tipped back down onto the pillows, twisting his fingers in the sheets. Tony realized for the first time that being crushed might be a legitimate issue, and he eyed Steve’s impressive legs with a little nervousness. He trusted him though, even though he didn’t really know him that well, so he wrapped his lips around the tip of Steve’s cock and sucked. Steve groaned again and spread his legs wider, giving an aborted little thrust up into Tony’s mouth. Tony opened wider and let Steve push up between his lips, wet and slippery.

Tony’s mouth had to stretch to accommodate Steve’s cock, and it set the best kind of ache into his jaw. Steve was struggling to keep still, so Tony rolled them onto their sides, Steve’s cock still in his mouth, and hooked an arm around Steve’s thigh. He gave him a little tap on the back and flicked his eyes up. Steve met his gaze for a moment then groaned, rocking forward so his cock pushed deeper inside. Tony moaned in encouragement and smoothed his palm over Steve’s shapely ass, getting a handful.

Steve’s hand ruffled through Tony’s hair then curled around to cup his jaw, his thumb brushing over Tony’s split-slicked lips while his cock pumped in between them. He swore again, and Tony’s cock twitched hopelessly, trying to fill again too soon. Steve was clearly holding back, but only a little, thrusting roughly into Tony’s mouth and dropping helpless, whimpering noises out of his throat every time Tony let his tongue stretch out to taste.

Tony urged him a little deeper - it’d been a while since he’d deepthroated, but he could take quite a bit - and Steve’s hand clenched on his jaw. “Oh, _shit,_ Tony. That’s - ah, I’m gonna -” he broke off into a whine.

A volley of filthy thoughts cascaded into Tony’s mind, but with his mouth occupied, all he could do was suck harder and think, _yeah hot stuff, fill me up, come for me, let me taste you._ Steve gasped, grabbed the back of Tony’s head with both hands so he could shove deep and hold there, and pulsed, filling his mouth with hot, bitter come.

The taste of Steve coming on his tongue had Tony hard again, but he didn’t push for more, crawling up into Steve’s arms and settling there. But only a few minutes later, he felt the hot throb of Steve’s growing erection against his thigh, and he raised an eyebrow at him. Steve took them both in hand and stroked them together, firm and rough, and it wasn’t long at all before Tony was coming for a second time, spilling over Steve’s cock and fist, then watching him, a moment later, as he added his come to the mess.

They were both breathing hard  - and fuck Tony had made the hottest guy on earth run out of breath - and for a few minutes they just panted together. When Steve rolled on to his back and gave his come-covered hand a judgemental look, Tony tossed a box of tissues over, and Steve cleaned up. He sighed when he was done then reached out and hooked Tony’s waist, drawing him in close. He pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I should go…” Steve said, the reluctance palpable.

“You should stay,” Tony countered. “I even have a change of clothes for you in my closet.” He pushed himself up on his elbows to grin down at Steve. “I washed them and everything.”

“Tony Stark, have you been hoarding my underwear?” Steve asked, eyes twinkling. His hands wandered up the back of Tony’s thighs and over his ass.

“Well. I was hoping you’d sign them so I could sell them on ebay, but if you stay the night, I can sell these sheets, so you can have the clothes back.”

Steve laughed and tugged him into a kiss. “What if I’d rather wear your clothes home again?”

Tony cocked a flirty eyebrow. “Well, well, Captain Rogers, do you have a _thing?”_

“Do I have a thing for smelling like you? Might do.” He rubbed his face against Tony’s chest making him squeal and shove him away. Steve pulled Tony close again and kissed him for a long time.

Tony leaned back this time and rested his forehead against Steve’s. “Stay though?”

Something conflicted flickered across Steve’s face but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. He beamed. “I’d love to.”

It wasn’t quite late enough for sleep, so they rolled out of bed, pulling on nothing more than their boxers, and picked at the leftovers from dinner. They talked shop for a bit - and it seemed SHIELD really would have a good contract for SI which had Tony turning over Pepper’s card to pass on to the Assistant Director - then Tony led the way back upstairs. Steve borrowed a spare toothbrush, and they got ready for bed side by side, grinning stupidly at each other while they brushed and flossed.

Tony tumbled into bed, and Steve landed over top of him, catching his weight on his elbows. Tony wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist, and Steve spun, landing on his back with Tony sprawled over his chest. Steve was warm enough that Tony didn’t even bother with the blanket, he just shifted around until he was comfortable and closed his eyes. He fell asleep to Steve’s gentle fingers running through his hair.

**

“I’m leaving for a mission on Tuesday,” Steve said when they’d tumbled out of bed in the morning and made toast. “Might be gone a couple days.”

“Oh, okay.” Tony picked at the crust of his remaining toast slice. It could be a brush off or -

“I’d like to see you when I get back, though.” Steve smiled, brilliant and hopeful.

“Oh! Good.” Tony leaned his chin down on his fist and blinked Steve’s way.

“So, um, maybe you could give me your number, and then when I get a SIM card for this -” Steve waved his new StarkPhone “- I can call you and tell you mine?”

“Yes, please.” Tony reached out and took the phone. He typed his number into it and saved it to the local contacts folder then handed it back. But Steve didn’t take the phone, he took Tony’s hand instead, letting the phone slide to the table as he drew Tony closer until he was practically in his lap. Tony fell on Steve’s mouth, pulling himself up until he had one foot balanced on the bracing bar of the stool. He wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and licked his way between Steve’s lips, tasting him and the peanut butter from his toast.

Steve hooked one incredibly strong arm behind Tony’s back and hauled him up onto his knee, somehow miraculously not tipping backwards off the precarious perch of the small kitchen stool. Steve kissed like he was looking for something, eager, deep, and a little bit desperate, and _god_ did he want to be what Steve was looking for.

It was a long time before Steve sighed and pulled back, soothing his thumb over Tony’s lips as if apologizing for his mouth not being there anymore. “I have to go,” he murmured.

Tony eased back off Steve’s lap, his hands tracing along Steve’s legs as he moved away. “Alright.” He reached out and pressed his palm flat over Steve’s chest because he could. “If you have to.”

Steve smiled and put his hand over Tony’s, pressing down a little before sliding off the stool and tucking his new phone in his back pocket. “Thanks for breakfast.”

Tony smirked back. “Thanks for the org-” Steve cut him off with a kiss that was more smile than anything.

“I’ll call you.”

“Okay.”

And with one last squeeze of Tony’s hip, Steve was gone.

Tony took a solid five minutes to stand in stunned silence in front of his door, staring blankly at the place where Steve had been. “Wow.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. A ridiculous part of him thrilled that he might have a text from Steve already, which was physically impossible, but he couldn’t tamp it down. He did have 5 texts from Pepper, though.

_Pepper: How’d the date go??_   
_Pepper: Did you kiss him again?_   
_Pepper: DID YOU DO MORE THAN KISS??_   
_Pepper: You left your hat at the party_   
_Pepper: Tonyyyy_

_Tony: Whoops, I’ll grab it next time I’m over_

_Pepper: Tony! I’ll burn the damn hat if you don’t spill_

_Tony: A gentleman never kisses and tells_

Tony’s phone rang. “Pep?”

“You’ve never been a gentleman in your life. Tell me everything.”

Tony laughed and flopped backwards onto his couch, staring up at the ceiling. He could still feel the ghost of Steve’s hands all over his body. “Pep, I can’t even begin to tell you…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> True to the movie, it's not always easy to be in love with a celebrity, and Tony doesn't have the best time in this chapter. Hopefully, it will all resolve in the last chapter, coming soon! ;D
> 
> Thanks for reading!

True to his word, it was radio silence from Steve for the next two and a half days, but on the morning of the third, Tony got a text.

_ Unknown Number: Hey, Tony! It’s Steve. Just got back. Still need to debrief, but I’m glad we’re in the same country again. Can I call you later tonight? Let me know what time you go to bed, don’t want to bother you too late. _

Tony chuckled as he composed his reply.

_ Tony: I usually go to bed about once every three days so don’t worry about that. I’d be worth some missed sleep to talk to you anyway. _

He hesitated before hitting send, worried that it was too much too soon, but Steve seemed to like that kind of thing and the last thing Tony wanted was for Steve to think he was more invested in this than Tony was. He added Steve to his contacts and only barely restrained from adding a heart after his name. That was too far.

_ Steve: You should really sleep more, Tony. _

_ Tony: I slept fine when you were here ;) _

_ Steve: :D _

Steve disappeared into his meetings, and Tony tried to fall back into his work, but he couldn’t focus entirely when there was a part of his brain that was on high alert, waiting for the phone to ring. Just after dinner, it did.

“Hey, Tony,” Steve said softly when Tony answered.

“Hey, superstar. Save the free world?”

“Something like that.” Steve sounded tired, but also warm and affectionate, and Tony thrummed with the hope that that was all for him. “Missed you.”

“Me too. I finished the testing on that new fabric, though. Now I can move on to stage two.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. I told Hill about it and gave her Pepper’s card. She’s going to set up a meeting.”

For the next hour, they talked about Tony’s work and Steve’s mission - vaguely and with an unsurprisingly high number of things redacted - and the other agents Steve had to work with.

Steve yawned, and Tony smiled. “I hate to let you go, but I think I need to crash for a bit.”

“Of course. You’ve had a busy couple of days. I’m glad you called, though.”

“Me too. Can I see you this week?” Steve asked.

“Yes. Please. I have a few meetings I have to set up, but I can text you when I know I’ll be free.”

“Alright. Or you can just stop by. I have the whole week off. I’ll text you my address?”

Tony thrilled at the idea of knowing where Steve lived. Of being able to just ‘pop by.’ “Perfect.”

The fell silent, neither saying that words that would end the call. Tony’s stomach fluttered with manic butterflies so intense he was pretty sure there were some bats and hummingbirds mixed in there.

“Goodnight, Steve,” he finally managed to say, figuring that though Steve was in desperate need of sleep, he wasn’t eager to end the call.

“Night, Tony.”

Tony hung up reluctantly, but a moment later a text popped through with Steve’s address, followed by a selfie. Steve flat on his back in bed, cheeks a bit flushed with embarrassment, but a soft, warm smile on his face. He was wearing a t-shirt, but he had his free arm folded behind his head and his biceps bulged obscenely out of his sleeve. Tony saved it immediately, wondering which milestone it was to jack off to your quasi-maybe-boyfriend’s non-sexual selfies. Was that a third date thing? Would whatever Steve didn’t know - but maybe suspect - not hurt him?

Tony decided that that was the best approach, and he crawled into bed earlier than he ever had before, with a bottle of lube and his phone.

But not before sending back a pic of his, and hoping that Steve would be getting himself to sleep in a similar manner.

**

The next morning, a delivery driver appeared at the door with a muffin basket from a client who had been an old friend of Tony’s dad. The muffins were delicious, and it was a nice day, so Tony decided it was time he balled up and made use of Steve sharing his address. He wouldn’t have sent it if he didn’t want Tony coming over, right? He wrapped up a few of the muffins and shot Steve a text:

_ Tony: In your neighbourhood. Stopping by. Let me know if it’s a bad time. :) _

He was not in the neighbourhood until he took two subway trains and a cab, but they’d only really had one date, two at best, and Tony felt it was still time to keep some of the illusion that he wasn’t a complete dork alive. Steve could learn that later, after he’d already married him.

Tony found himself getting more and more excited instead of nervous as he approached Steve’s building. He hadn’t had a text back, but he didn’t mind. If Steve wasn’t home, he’d leave the muffins with a cute note like Steve had done with his clothes. Maybe it could be a thing. Their thing.

The building was massive and very swanky. There were a few reporters hanging around out front, but Tony ignored them. He knew the apartment number so he made a confident beeline for the elevators before a doorman or concierge could ask him where he thought he was going. Steve’s apartment was on the eighth floor, and he took a moment in the elevator to smooth down his hair and straighten his shirt.

At 809, he knocked. Maybe Steve would answer the door shirtless, and Tony would get some revenge. He chuckled to himself. A half-formed fantasy of Steve opening the door naked, grabbing him without a word, and pulling him in to ravage him reared up in Tony’s mind, and he had to breathe deeply until it went away.

The door opened, but not to shirtless Steve. To a woman.

She was about Tony’s height, pretty, with long blonde hair, and a mildly suspicious air. “Yes?”

“Um. Does Steve Rogers live here?” Tony asked. He must have gotten it wrong. It must have been 908.

Her face immediately shut off. She pulled the door a little more closed. “He’s not home.”

“Oh. Sorry. I texted, but he must not have seen it.” Roommate? Tony wondered. It seemed odd for Steve to have a roommate - when he certainly wouldn’t need one - but maybe he got lonely and liked the company.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “He’s not going to give you an interview just because you figured out which apartment he lives in, okay? Call his office. Don’t make us get a restraining order.”

_ Us? _ “No, no. I’m not a reporter. I’m - I’m -” Tony cast about for the word. It was too soon for boyfriend and there wasn’t a word for pre-boyfriend. “I’m his friend.”

“Right. And I’m his dog walker. Look, kid. There’s something called journalistic integrity, look it up. And if you really need a quote. Here’s one - ‘Steve Rogers doesn’t give unscheduled interviews’ - Sharon Bright, girlfriend. Have a good morning.” She moved to shut the door.

“Girlfriend?”

“Fiancée, if you want to get technical.” She flashed a ring. “But if that’s the story you run, I can promise you, you’re in for a world of hurt. The last guy who tried to write a piece on Steve’s personal life is still on assignment in Siberia. Take the hint.” She shut the door, and Tony was left standing there, muffins in hand.

He spun on his heel and ran down the hall. He stabbed the elevator button, but when it didn’t arrive immediately, he pushed through the door for the stairs and stumbled down them until he hit fresh air. 

_ Fiancée…  _

Tony felt sick. Steve had played him. He was engaged.  _ Engaged. _ At best, Tony had been nothing more than a quick fuck - a fun night - or at worst, Steve was intending for him to be a dirty little secret. Something on the side while he had his fairytale wedding. She was probably a superhero too.

Tony made it as far as a park bench before he sat down hard and put his head in his hands. He looked up long enough to throw the muffins in a nearby trash can then curled in on himself again. If only Steve had just left him alone. It wasn't like Tony’d ever thought he had a chance with Captain America. If Steve had just left him alone, he would have been fine. But no, he gave him just enough hope, then punched him right in the gut. 

He gave Tony his address, for fucks sake - the apartment he shared with his fiancee. Did he want to hurt Tony on purpose? Or did he think Tony already knew and didn't care? It was  _ gross.  _ Tony felt like he was going to be sick, so he stumbled to his feet and started the long hike back to his place. He made it to the subway entrance then gave up and called a cab. At least if he puked in the cab, he’d only embarrass himself in front of one person instead of fifty.

At home, he blocked Steve’s number, turned off all the lights, crawled into bed, and waited - refusing to think about anything at all - until he fell asleep.

**

Tony stared accusingly at the ice cubes in the bottom of his glass. They were upsettingly small and not at all floaty, which meant he was at the bottom of his drink, and that was sad. 

This gala had been a nightmare from start to finish. Pep had asked him to go in her place and schmooze a few people, even though the entire reason he’d given her his company was so he didn’t have to do this kind of shit. But he owed her a favour, and she was in Hong Kong, so here he was. 

It was supposed to be a gala raising money for some children’s hospital, and Tony supposed it was, but somehow it had ended up connected to SHIELD’s children’s charity initiatives, and the whole evening had been opportunity after opportunity to shove Captain America in Tony’s face. Steve himself hadn’t shown, thank god, but the silent auction was 80% Cap-themed stuff, including auctioning off one of those celebrity dates with him - Tony had scowled at the sheet of names and considered “accidentally” pouring his drink, or maybe tipping a candle onto it, but had managed to restrain himself - and half the speeches had been PR people from SHIELD.

If Tony had had one too many, or maybe one-and-a-half too many, it wasn’t his fault, it was the stupid dessert cart's, which still hadn’t been brought out. And he was promised cheesecake. He’d sat through two hours of dinner speeches and bid on a Captain America lunchbox to stop Mrs. Hannerty from peer pressuring him into throwing some money around, and he deserved cheesecake dammit.

There was a smattering of excited chatter from the other corner of the room, and Tony perked up like a meerkat on guard duty, hoping it was the desserts finally coming out. 

But it wasn’t.

It was Steve.

“Fuck,” Tony whispered to his empty glass. He was tipsy, heartbroken, terrified, and entirely lacking in cheesecake, and his almost-maybe-boyfriend-who-is-actually-a-big-cheater-pants was thirty feet away shaking Justin Hammer’s hand. Tony briefly considered throwing up but decided it wasn’t worth the effort and instead stood up to shuffle off towards the door.

Halfway there, they finally did roll out the dessert cart, and Tony stuttered to a stop. He’d come all this way for cheesecake, dammit, was he really going to let one ex-bang chase him away? He glanced at the spread and saw an array that included most of his favourite things, and took a sharp right turn and headed there instead. Steve was so surrounded by simpering housewives and desperate business owners with their contracts hanging out of their pants, that he wouldn’t notice Tony anyway.

Tony loaded his plate and settled into a chair in the corner, watching Steve but telling himself he wasn’t. Steve made the rounds slowly and politely, never even a cookie or cocktail offered his way. He shook hands with everyone who approached and gave them a few minutes of celebrity small talk before moving on. Tony shoved another mouthful of triple, fudge brownie cheesecake in his mouth and sighed. He really had liked Steve.

“- Tony Stark!”

Tony spun around at his name and noticed for the first time that there was a man on stage calling out the winners of the silent auction. And fuck him sideways, he’d won the goddamn lunchbox. He turned, heart pounding heavily to a stop, and like a car wreck, his gaze collided with Steve’s. 

Steve’s brow furrowed deep, and his mouth turned down sharply into a frown. He stared at Tony for a moment then pulled his phone out and typed furiously on it for a moment. Tony watched, but nothing else happened, and when Steve looked up at him again, Tony looked away. He wasn’t about to be chased out. He let the four (ish) gin and tonics he’d downed bolster his confidence and shifted lower in his seat, shoving another bite of cake in his mouth. 

He very pointedly ignored Steve for the rest of his dessert. 

The silent auction stuff would be shipped out, and he’d already given them his credit card, so when he was done his cake and coffee, he ordered a cab and made for the exit. Steve had disappeared in the crowd somewhere, but Tony was relieved not to see him again - he just wanted to be free of this.

Tony walked past the bar and through the double doors to the hallway when a hand reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him into a room. “Ack!” Tony flailed, but the hold was too strong.

The room was dark, and it took a second for Tony’s eyes to adjust, but when they did, they narrowed. “Steve. What do you want?” He looked around. “Are we in a cloakroom?”

Steve frowned and followed Tony’s gaze. “I guess. Look, Tony…" He twisted his hands together. "You didn’t reply to my texts.”

All the righteous fury welled up again, and Tony poked a hard finger into the centre of Steve’s chest. Who the fuck did he think he was, demanding an answer? “Yeah, I  _ blocked  _ you, Steve. I am nobody’s other woman. I won’t be your dirty little secret. I can’t fucking  _ believe you.  _ I’d slap you if I didn’t think it would break my hand.”

Steve's face crumpled and he took as much of a step back as he could in the tiny space. “I was trying to call you to tell you," he said softly. "Sharon isn’t my fiancée, she isn’t even my girlfriend. I texted you like forty times when I came home and she told me what had happened. I saw your message to me, and I put two and two together. I called, I texted, but you wouldn’t answer, and I didn’t want to show up at your door if you didn’t want to see me, but _ \- shit -  _ another day and I would have!”

“She’s not -? What? She said she was. Why would she lie about that?”

“She was trying to help. There’s this reporter who’s been following me around,” Steve said with a sigh. “He’s young and pushy and he’s been trying to get an interview with me. I warned her about him… I uh, I said he might be trying to out me. She was trying to protect me from him, show him he was barking up the wrong tree - even though he really wasn’t. But he was being an asshole, so she didn’t mind lying. I hadn’t told her about you yet, so when you stopped by, she thought you were him. I’m so sorry.”

The information spun through Tony’s brain, sobering him up rapidly. “Why -” he cast around for the best question “- why was she at your apartment?”

“She just got back from a long mission away, and I watch her cat when she goes. I was running a training op when she got back so she stopped there to pick him up. It’s why I hadn’t had a chance to tell her about you yet, she’s been away for two weeks.”

“She had a ring.”

“She  _ is  _ engaged. Just not to me.” Steve’s voice went soft and gentle, and he reached out again and rested his hand on Tony’s forearm. “Tony? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I get it if you don't want to see me anymore, but I really needed you to know the truth.”

“No… no, it’s okay Steve. I shouldn’t have blocked you. I should have given you a chance to explain. That’s on me. I - uh - I panicked.” Tony flicked his eyes up and met Steve’s heated ones. Relief flooded out the pain of the other day and mixed with alcohol and cheesecake. "It was all too good to be true. I guess I was waiting for something to go horribly wrong."

Steve made a soft, sad sound and twitched his arms up hopefully. "Can I hug you?"

Tony folded into his arms, burrowing his face in Steve's jacket and feeling Steve doing the same in his hair. When he pulled back, Tony leaned in for a kiss, and Steve rested gentle hands on his hips and held him close and pressed their lips together. Tony stole several more kisses in a row, then pulled away and straightened Steve’s tie. He really looked criminally good in a tux. “I’d really like to peel you out of this, but I imagine you have special, superhero-y things you have to do tonight?”

Steve honest to god pouted. “Unfortunately yes. I want to make this up to you, though. Can I take you to lunch on Friday? And then afterwards, if you like, you can come to SHIELD, see where I work? There’s an R&D department I think you might be interested in.”

“Oh shit, really?! I’d love to get my hands on what they’re working on in there. Is it true there’s a particle accelerator right there in the lab?”

Steve laughed. “I have no idea, I don’t know what that is. But you can look and see? And if you find it, you can show me what it does.”

**

Lunch was in a small family diner. Steve seemed embarrassed that he hadn’t thought to take Tony somewhere fancier, but after Tony insisted for the fourth time that there was nowhere he’d rather be, Steve seemed to relax.

Conversation flowed easily over their burgers, and Tony found his heart gave a little flutter every time Steve looked his way. He wanted more than to just bring Steve home for another amazing marathon sex afternoon; he wanted to take him home forever. He wanted to find the shape of the edges of Steve’s life and fit them together with his. It still seemed impossible that somehow Captain America of all people wanted to be with him, but the proof was right in front of him, gazing at him affectionately over a shared plate of curly fries.

It was a bit terrifying, actually, to look across the table at someone he’d known for such a short amount of time and feel that strongly. Tony excused himself to the bathroom and splashed water on his face. He peered in the mirror. “Don’t be an idiot, Tony,” he said. Steve liked him, liked him a lot, that was clear, but Tony couldn’t get ahead of himself. His only goal was to not completely embarrass himself for the rest of this date, and maybe Steve would want to see him again.

Back at their table, Steve had paid and was flipping through his phone with his jacket on. He looked up when Tony approached. “You ready?” he asked with a smile. 

“Yup!” Tony slipped on his own jacket and tried to keep his cool when Steve reached out and took his hand. They walked the two blocks to SHIELD headquarters hand in hand, and Tony tried to keep up with the conversation Steve was attempting, but his brain kept singing  _ haaaanddddd  _ like a four-year-old maniac because Steve’s large hand wrapped around his was closing a circuit that was shorting out like mad.

Steve didn’t seem to mind, or at least wasn’t yet staring at him like there were pieces of brain dribbling out of his ears, so he was calling it a win.

At the massive revolving doors leading into the lobby of SHIELD HQ, Steve pulled him close against his side, but dropped his hand. Tony mourned the loss, but he couldn’t blame Steve for wanting to keep it lowkey. The receptionist smiled brightly at Steve then peered at Tony over her glasses. He got the distinct impression he was being scanned, and he fought the urge to curl in on himself. 

“Can I get a visitor’s pass for Tony, please?” Steve asked, and the woman typed away at her keyboard, then handed over a stiff card on a lanyard that had ALL ACCESS printed on the bottom. Tony slung it around his neck as Steve led him through the metal detectors and into the elevator. “So where do you want to go first? My office or the lab?”

Tony bit back the urge to yell, "the lab!" immediately. First of all, he did want to see Steve’s office, and if he got sucked into the lab, they might not have time for much else. He also wanted to give Steve a chance to play tour guide before they ended up in Tony’s world. From what Steve had said, Tony would know more about what was going on in R&D than he would, and knowing Tony’s mouth - and he did - he wouldn’t be able to keep that to himself. “Your office.”

Steve beamed. He hit the button for the 9th floor, and they started to rise. Steve stood close beside Tony, leaning against the wall, with his hands braced behind him and his feet kicked out in front, but his shoulder was pressed tightly to Tony’s, and it was warm and comforting and released a whole new posse of bats and hummingbirds into his stomach, lacking in space after his big lunch.

Steve’s office was a large, impressive one at the end of the hall. It was two rooms, an outer office where Jeffery the assistant reigned, and an inner private office, the door to which was currently closed, but it had Captain America printed on a plaque on the door which sent a little thrill through Tony’s gut.

“Afternoon, Jeffrey,” Steve said. “This is Tony.”

Tony waved.

Jeffrey stood and held out his hand to shake. “Hey, sorry about that thing before, on the phone. Steve told me after I should have let you through, but he gets hounded a lot, you know how it is.”

Tony didn't really know how it was, but he nodded knowingly. “Sure. No problem. As long as I’m on the whitelist now.” He offered Jeffrey a careful smile and got a wink in return.

“Absolutely.”

Tony got the impression that Steve and Jeffrey were quite close, or at least that out of everyone here, he knew the most about Steve’s dating life. This was further confirmed when Steve slipped his hand in Tony’s, smiled and led him to the closed door. As Steve pushed it open, Tony turned back towards Jeffrey’s desk, and Jeffrey gave him another wink and waggled his eyebrows, making Tony laugh.

Steve’s office was beautiful. It was sleek and modern with a long bank of windows. Somehow, with Steve’s past, Tony had expected his decorating choices to lean more towards Formica and plaid, but everything was clean glass and sleek lines. He had a huge TV that covered a large part of one wall and was playing the news with the sound muted. There was a couch against the far wall, and it was the most worn, soft looking thing about the whole room. Tony ran his fingers along the arm and wondered how many post-mission naps Steve had caught there.

When he looked up, Steve was leaning back against his desk, arms crossed, watching Tony take the room in with a soft smile. “You look good here,” he said teasingly.

“I feel good here, Steve,” Tony replied haughtily. “I’m thinking of applying to have the job when they get sick of you.”

“Oh yeah?” Steve’s eyes twinkled. He reached around behind his desk and came back with The Shield. He held it out easily with one hand. 

Tony’s heart stuttered in his chest, and he had a bizarre flashback to playing ‘Cap and Bucky’ with his next-door neighhour as a kid, taking turns being Cap using a round baking sheet with a strip of cardboard taped to the back as a shield. But now he was going to get to hold the real one. He clasped it with one hand, but when Steve released his end, it slammed to the ground with a  _ clang,  _ and Tony yelped. “Holy shit that’s heavy.”

But when he lifted it from the strap instead, Tony could feel how perfectly balanced it was, and it didn’t feel quite so heavy. He ran his hand over the faded paint, then he rolled his eyes up to Steve’s and twitched his lips into a flirty smirk. “Wanna show me how you throw it around?”

Steve’s eyebrows quirked up for a moment, and he swallowed heavily then smiled back. “How about lab first, and then, if you’re good, I’ll take you to the gym, hmm?”

Tony resisted the urge to adjust his pants as he handed the shield back, thinking about a shirtless Steve flexing and stretching around a dimly lit gym with just the two of them… 

Steve tugged on the other end of the shield, and Tony jerked forward with a surprised gasp, but Steve caught him in the cage of his arms, tossing the shield aside and dragging Tony in. “Mmm, you smell nice,” he hummed into Tony’s hair.

“No cameras in here?”

“No cameras in here.” Steve’s eyes flicked down to Tony’s mouth and locked there.

Tony shifted up between Steve’s knees and dropped his hands to Steve’s thighs, digging his fingers in a little to feel the muscles shift. Steve curled his arms around Tony’s shoulders and drew him in until their lips met, soft at first and then growing in intensity. Tony ran his tongue along the seam of Steve’s lips until they parted, then nipped at his lower lip, sucking it between his teeth when Steve groaned. Steve pulled him closer, parting his legs so Tony could tuck up between them, surrounded by Steve’s heat. A shudder rattled down his spine, and he squeezed his hands into fists on Steve’s thighs, willing his body to hold off the inevitable response so he didn’t have to limp around the rest of the tour. 

Eventually, Tony broke the kiss reluctantly, tipping his forehead against Steve’s instead and sucking in much-needed oxygen. “I really do want to see the lab, and I feel like we’re not going to get there at this point.”

“Yeah…” Steve breathed then he blinked and pulled away. He ran his hand over his face and took a deep breath. “You’re right.” He gently pushed Tony out of his space and stood up. Tony noted with satisfaction that Steve tugged subtly at the crotch of his pants as he turned towards the door, two spots of pink appearing high on his cheeks. 

Tony trailed after him, past a smirking Jeffrey and back to the elevators. As soon as they opened on the eighteenth floor, Tony’s mouth fell open. “The lab” was actually an entire floor of R&D. Vast and cavernous, it stood at least three stories tall to accommodate the quinjets that were dotted, partially assembled, around the room. It was quiet today, Steve had said he’d purposely picked a day where the whole R&D team was in mandatory sensitivity training so Tony could explore unbothered. 

“Wow,” Tony breathed, craning his head around to try and see it all at once. “Is that a liquid-crystal laser array?”

Steve chuckled. “I have no idea.” He gestured, and Tony made for the equipment, which it turned out, was indeed.

He was two full minutes into an unasked for lecture on new medical science breakthroughs dependent on liquid laser technology, when his conscious brain caught up with things and cut him off. He turned up to Steve, lip caught between his teeth, ready to apologize, but Steve was wide-eyed and leaning in, hanging on his every word. 

“Tony?” he asked quietly. “What was that about tumor removal? You kind of trailed off there...”

Steve had really been listening. Listening and  _ interested.  _ Tony’s smile bloomed slowly across his face, and he could see Steve was about to ask what on earth he was grinning about, his eyebrow quirking up the words formed on his lips, but his cellphone chose that moment to ring. Steve frowned down at the screen then shot Tony an apologetic look and flicked it open. “Hello?” He gestured towards the rest of the room, and mouthed, “Go ahead, five minutes,” at Tony.

While he stepped out into the hall to take his call, Tony wandered through the room, one hand clutched nervously around his visitors pass. He kept expecting someone to stop him, but no one did, and before long he found a long table behind a shelf of parts bins, where they were assembling circuit boards for the quinjets. Instantly absorbed, Tony hooked his ankle around a nearby stool and settled on it at the table, picking up one of the boards and turning it this way and that, examining the design. 

It was beautiful, really, and creative. He looked up and saw they had an in-house board printer with pick-and-place. He pushed his stool back and walked over to check it out. He was just wondering if he’d be able to get away with printing a board on it and sneaking it off in his pocket to play with at home, when there came an unpleasant sounding snort from behind him. Tony turned towards it, only to realize that the shelf of bins blocked his view of the lab. But someone was on the other side. He thought it might be Steve, but it hadn’t sounded like Steve, and he was suddenly struck with the fact that he was unsupervised in a huge lab full of secure government projects. He bit his tongue and wished Steve would reappear.

“How’s your nose?” a new male voice said mockingly.

Another voice huffed then said, “Fine. You wish you were strong enough to break it.”

A third sighed. “I wish we had something better to do in training than beat the shit out of each other. Cap’s regimens are boring as fuck.”

Tony’s ears perked up.  _ That’s your Steve!  _ the hummingbirds in his stomach helpfully informed him, but he shushed them. These guys weren’t being very nice to Steve. Seemed like he might have some quality gossip to share with him when he returned.

“Did you see that puppy following him around today?” the first voice said. Tony's stomach twisted again, with less amusement and more discomfort.

The other two laughed. “What? Not your type, Brock?”

“Wouldn’t matter if he was,” Brock said, his sneer audible. “He only had eyes for the good Captain. How embarrassing. Fucking groupies. I’ll never understand why Cap gives them the time of day, let alone pretends they're special.”

“I know why,” the third voice said. There was an unpleasant noise and both the men laughed. Tony was pretty sure he knew the gesture the man had made that set his friends off.

Also, the way they talked… it sounded like he wasn’t the first person Steve had brought here. That there were other “puppies” following him around making moon eyes. He really thought they’d moved past the insecurity of Sharon, but just because Steve wasn’t engaged, didn’t mean he was monogamous, or looking for anything serious. He’d never actually said that he wanted to date Tony and Tony only. 

Footsteps cut through their laughter, and then a voice Tony recognized silenced them completely. “What’s so funny?” Steve asked tersely.

“Nah, nothing Cap. You wouldn’t get it.”

“Hey, who's that kid you brought with you today?” Brock asked. “I like him. He’s _ earnest.” _

Tony could feel his lip curling up, but his breath caught at the same time. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but in his defense, he had just been standing here minding his own business and that of the truly astounding collection of circuit boards when they had started talking. And it would be far too humiliating to make his presence known now. So he stilled, holding his breath, and waited to hear what Steve thought of him.

“Oh him? He’s nobody. We might do some contracts with him for materials. He’s just an engineer."

Tony’s stomach plummeted into his shoes.  _ Nobody? Just an engineer?  _ Tony didn’t even get "friend"? Fuck… his eyes heated without Tony’s permission and he tossed the board aside. Suddenly, he had to get out. He couldn’t face Steve without asking him why on earth he had called Tony  _ nobody,  _ and that wasn’t a conversation it was fair to have at Steve’s workplace. 

This was all just getting too complicated, too fast. Steve was hot and cold, and it was making Tony feel feverish. To be invited here, to make it sound special, and then to find out that not only wasn’t it special, Steve thought Tony was nothing.  _ Nobody.  _ Nothing more than what he could provide SHIELD. It was Sharon all over again, but this time Tony had heard it straight from Steve’s mouth. This trip had been nothing more than an attempt to get Tony's mind off his perceived slight from before. Steve kept picking Tony up and then tossing him aside. He just couldn’t do it anymore.

Tony slipped down the aisle before Steve could see him then pushed out the exit into the hallway. It wasn’t hard to find the lobby and then the doors outside, and once Tony breathed fresh air he felt a little steadier. Steve had such an intense effect on him, and he didn’t know what do with that. Hearing him dismissed out of hand so easily was like a punch to the gut.

Tony started to head home, but before the subway arrived, his phone buzzed. 

_ Steve: Where are you? _

He stared at it for a long time, wondering what to say. A hundred petty, scathing things crossed his mind but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything of them. He was tired - emotionally exhausted - so he opted for a vague excuse and promised himself he’d talk to Steve tomorrow and explain that this wasn’t working out; Steve clearly wanted something casual, and Tony, Tony couldn’t do that.

_ Tony: Sorry, I had to leave. Something came up. Didn't want to interrupt your call. _

_ Steve: Oh, okay. That’s too bad. I wouldn't have minded. Is everything alright? _

_ Tony: Yup, it’s fine. Time-critical SI work. You know how it is. _

_ Steve: Alright. I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you off. Lunch tomorrow? _

_ Tony: Sorry, I’m going to be busy for a bit with this stuff. Can I call you when I have time? _

_ Steve: Of course. Good luck with work xoxo _

Tony stared at the text morosely all the way home. How could Steve be so easygoing and affectionate one moment and then completely discount him the next? Was it all a show? Was Steve a player and Tony nothing more than the next notch in his bedpost? He was surprised then that Steve had bothered to see him again at all, after he’d gotten what he wanted - on their second date no less - let alone take the time to show Tony all over SHIELD. But maybe that’s what he liked: “groupies” as that asshole agent had called them. Someone to fawn over him and tell him how big his biceps were and how pretty his “shield” was.

The subway rattled and squeaked as it took a tight turn, and Tony let his eyes close and leaned his head back against the vibrating window. It hadn’t felt like that though. If Steve was really lying, he was unbelievably good at it. Tony thought back to the night they’d been together, how Steve had told him it had been awhile, the tender way he’d pulled Tony into a kiss, the soft noises he’d made as he spilled in Tony’s mouth. Was that all a lie too? For all Tony knew, Steve had been sleeping with tons of other people at the same time. 

And Tony was just another puppy.


	4. Chapter 4

When Tony woke up the next morning, he felt hungover even though, unfortunately, he hadn’t had anything to drink. If he’d known how shitty he would feel, he would have. He toyed with his phone for a while, meaning to call Steve and talk it out, tell him that this was too crazy, to up and down, too casual and too serious for him, all at the same time. Steve had this celebrity lifestyle, and Tony couldn’t be dragged along for that.

He turned his phone off instead and dove into work, pushing through six hurdles for the new synthetic material that had been holding him back all week. At lunch, he turned his phone back on, but true to his word, Steve hadn’t called or texted, waiting for Tony. His stomach lurched unpleasantly and instead of eating he knocked back an energy drink then crawled into bed. The caffeine and other drugs hit his system and twenty minutes later he woke, manic and wild. He dove back into work. 

He’d left his phone on this time, and when it rang, it startled him out of his trance. He gestured wildly at DUM-E until he grabbed the phone off the counter and brought it over to Tony. He expected it to be Steve, but it was Rhodey. 

He tucked the phone under his chin and went back to mixing chemicals. “‘Lo?”

“Hey, Pal. Want to go to a game tonight? If you’re not to busy with Steeeve.” He dragged the name out like he was a 10-year-old teasing Tony on the playground about his crush. Two days ago, he would have laughed and blushed and thought about the way Steve had kissed him up against Pepper's door. As it was now, he didn’t find it very funny.

“No,” he snapped, too harshly. “I’m not busy.”

“Ouch. Trouble in paradise?”

“We were never in paradise,” he grumbled. “We barely knew each other.”

“Didn’t stop you from being head over heels,” Rhodey said.

“Well, it turned out one of us wasn’t.” Tony tried to keep his voice steady, tried to make it sound like he didn’t care, but he knew that only made it sound worse. 

“Tony…”

“Look, it didn’t work out okay? He wanted something… casual. And I - I didn’t. This was never serious to him. And, okay, that makes sense, right? He’s a busy, famous guy. He probably doesn’t have time for how needy I can -”

“Tony.” Rhodey cut him off harshly. “Don't you dare finish that sentence. If he dumped you because he didn’t want to take you seriously than you’re better off without him, okay? I know you really liked him, but it wouldn't be fair to do anything that you weren’t both invested in right?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Tony careful failed to mention that they hadn’t exactly broken up. Though he wasn’t sure if “nobody” really warranted a breakup anyway. He knew he had to say something to Steve, he couldn’t ghost entirely, but he had no idea what to say. He was afraid that if he talked to him again, heard his low, soft voice or watched those blue eyes flicker down to his mouth that he wouldn’t be able to end it. He’d agree to be his fuckbuddy and then quietly die inside every time he saw Steve in the papers with someone else or when Steve dismissed him as nothing more than an engineer. 

Maybe if he tried really hard he could be upgraded to friend status in six or seven years.

He sighed, and Rhodey groaned. “I’m sorry, man. Do you want to go out to the game, or do you want me to come over with pizza and beer and we’ll watch B-horror movies and get drunk?”

Tony looked at his beakers for a moment then shoved them aside, pulling his gloves off. “Movies and drunk,” he muttered into his phone. 

“You got it.”

Halfway through Killer Clowns from Outer Space and way too many beers, Tony’s phone dinged, and he made grabby hands towards it until Rhodey handed it over. Rhodey looked down at it as he did so and frowned. “Why is Steve texting you a picture of an otter?”

“Wha-?” Tony grabbed at the phone then readjusted his aim and grabbed again, successfully this time. Rhodey wasn’t kidding. Steve had texted him a picture of an otter floating on its back, holding the hand of another otter. Tony saw it for what it was, a gentle nudge without being a nudge. Steve was reminding him that he was there, that Tony had promised to call, but hiding it under snuggling sea creatures. Tony’s stomach twisted, churning the pizzas and copious amount of beer into a mess inside him. “Ugh.” He pushed to his feet.

“I thought you said he dumped you!” Rhodey called after him as Tony staggered up the stairs to the bathroom.

“He did! He wants to be friends or whatever,” Tony gritted out. He shut the bathroom door on whatever Rhodey said next. He leaned against the counter and looked down at the innocent meme. It wasn’t fair for Steve to be so adorable and lovely and then also be an asshole.

Tony sighed. The truth was, probably, that Steve wasn’t the asshole - Tony was. Tony had read more into this than there was from the start. He’d been clingy and needy, pushing for more, more, more, when Steve wasn’t willing to give it. Steve had likely been dropping hints left and right that this was going too fast, and Tony hadn’t picked them up, stomping right over them to climb in Steve’s lap again and suck face. 

Tony had imagined this stupid future where he got to be Steve’s boyfriend, but it was wishful thinking, a fantasy. And now that he was drunk enough to admit it to himself, there was no denying it.

He stared at his phone for a long time, arguing with himself. The semi-rational part of his brain told him he shouldn’t text Steve drunk. The panicky, 90%-in-love part of his brain starting composing a series of heartfelt confessions that would be riddled with non-sequiturs and spelling mistakes considering his current level of eye-hand coordination. The sad, drunk, full of pizza part of his brain told him Steve wasn’t worth moping about. 

They all won, in a way.

_ Tony: Cute :) Out with Rhodey, sorry. Can’t chat. _

After he’d sent it, washed his hands, and slumped back down on the couch, Tony realized that he’d kind of screwed himself. By admitting he was out with Rhodey, he was also admitting that he had time for a social life again, which meant the work excuse wouldn’t fly anymore. Maybe Steve would even call him out on it. 

But Steve just sent back:

_ Steve: No worries. Have fun! xo _

And that summed it up, didn’t it? Because while Tony was fretting about what to say, Steve didn’t actually care. He probably had lots of people he could hit up for a good time. He wouldn’t even notice Tony quietly disappearing. So that’s what he’d do. Quietly disappear… under a pile of blankets... to lick his wounds…

A pillow whacked him in the face, and he startled up, his reflexes dulled by alcohol. “What the flying flip, Rhodey?”

“Stop moping so goddamn loud.”

“I thought this was supposed to be a pity party,” Tony grumbled.

“Yeah, but there’s pity and there’s full on Sarah Mclachlan SPCA ad. I keep expecting cage bars to appear over your face while Arms of An Angel plays in the background and a soft but serious voice assures me I can save you for just pennies a day.”

“I’d be at least a dollar a day to save,” Tony insisted with a rather inebriated wave of his hand.

“I’ll give you a dollar a day,” Rhodey muttered, managing to make it sound deeply threatening. Tony threw his feet in Rhodey’s lap and clutched a pillow to his chest, sighing. He turned back to Killer Clowns and tried not to think about Steve.

He failed.

**

After three more days of vague half-answers and call dodging, Steve seemed to get the hint. The texts stopped, the few times he’d tried to call weren’t repeated. As much as his attempts at contact had hurt, him giving up on Tony somehow hurt more. Tony told himself it was what he wanted. He threw himself even more ferociously into his work, ignoring the pit that opened in his stomach every time he thought of blue eyes and large, calloused hands.

When JARVIS announced the next morning that Steve was about to knock, Tony startled up from where he’d been slumped against his desk. He was sitting on a stool in front of his soldering station, fiddling with a roll of solder wire instead of doing anything with it. He checked his phone frantically but there was nothing. Steve had shown up unannounced, and that didn’t seem like a good sign. Tony’s heart pounded painfully against his ribs, and he tried to think of some excuse, some easy way to brush Steve efficiently out of his life. He supposed the easiest way would be to tell Steve he was “nothing” to him. He bit down on his lip hard. 

When the door opened and Steve walked in, Tony tried to look busy. 

“Hey, Tony.”

Tony kept his voice carefully level. “Hey, Steve. How are you?”

Steve was silent for a moment. He looked uncomfortable, and he was clutching a brown manilla envelope in his hand. “Uh, not... that great.”

Tony set down the soldering wire and slowly turned to face him. He flicked his eyes up to Steve’s but he couldn't hold his gaze. He looked as amazing as ever. But also sad, deeply sad.

“Look… I don’t know what happened, but I can take a hint,” he said softly. “And if you don’t want to see me anymore, that’s fine. I do kinda feel like I deserve an explanation, but it’s up to you if you want to give me one. And you’re busy, I know.” Steve fiddled with the edges of the envelope. “I just - uh - I wanted to give you this.” He set it on the edge of the desk. 

“Oh…” Tony made an aborted gesture towards it. “Should I -?”

“Oh god, no. I’ll be too embarrassed. I should have just mailed it, probably. But I had to tell you that I really enjoyed the time we spent together, and I don't know how else… to do that." He ran his hand through his hair. "I’m shipping out for a long, covert mission tonight. I’ll be out of town for a couple weeks. I thought - I wanted to try one more time and ask if when I got back, you might want to see me again? Maybe you could tell me where I went wrong… We could just get coffee or something, if it was too fast. I thought… maybe… you’d give me a second chance if I begged.” Without the envelope to fiddle with, Steve picked at his nails. 

“I -” Tony swallowed. In the face of Steve actually here, it was hard to remember how hurt and angry he’d been. And this was an awfully intense conversation to have with someone who hadn’t been more than a little fun. “Steve… I just don’t think we want the same things, okay? I’m not someone who can do the whole booty call thing. I tried it - it didn’t work for me. I’m looking for something real, and I got a little too invested in you, and that’s not fair to either of us. I’m just trying to be honest.”

“Real…?” Steve gaped at him like a confused but really handsome goldfish. “But I - I want that too. I thought that's what we were doing? It felt real to me. Was it not - not -?” Steve’s expression collapsed, and Tony bit his lip and gripped the edge of the stool to stop from running over and flinging himself into his arms.

“I heard what you said at SHIELD,” Tony admitted. “To those guys. And it’s fine if that’s what you want, something under the table. You don’t have to pretend. It’s just not something I can do right now. Probably not ever, really.”

“At SHIELD…?” Steve blinked at him, then frowned. “Oh, god, you mean to Rumlow and his idiot friends? You heard that?” Tony nodded morosely. “Shit, Tony, those guys are _ assholes.  _ I wouldn’t tell them what I had for lunch, let alone who I was dating. They would have been complete dicks to you, and I’ve already have two disciplinary notices for ‘using violence to solve my interpersonal conflicts instead of words.’ Besides, you and I never really talked about it, you know, what we were to each other. And I didn’t know if you’d want them to know. Or if you were out to anyone beyond your friends. And I’m starting to see that I should have made it more of a priority, because it’s clear you have no idea how I feel about you. I - I _ really  _ like you. I want something real, too.” Steve gave him a shaky smile and shuffled his weight back and forth.

“Ah… well. Okay…” Tony thought back over the last few weeks with Steve. It had been a rollercoaster. Tony’s stomach twisted painfully again. He didn’t want to be here, having this conversation. It was too much. He felt a bit like he was going to crawl under his workbench if this went on much longer, and that would be utterly humiliating. “Look, Steve. You’re amazing, obviously, and a superhero. And I’m - I  _ am  _ nobody. I live in a warehouse. I just - I’m in real danger with you. Badly… And if I - if you - I don’t think my heart can take getting broken again. It’s just too much. And you’re everywhere! When you realize there’s absolutely no way I can keep up with you, and you dump me - which, you know, I won’t blame you for - you’re just… everywhere. I have your lunchbox, for fucks sake.”

Steve went stock still, all his muscles tensing. He swallowed hard. “Right, okay. Well. That’s pretty… clear.”

“I’m sorry, Steve." Tony's throat tightened painfully. "You’re just - You’re Captain America.” He half-shrugged then wished he could take it back.

“You know that's just my job, right? It doesn’t mean anything.” Steve’s voice broke, and his eyes raked up from the floor to meet Tony’s. Tony flinched at the intensity of emotion Steve was doing nothing to hide. “I’m really just a kid from Brooklyn.” He stood there for a moment, staring sadly at Tony, then glanced back down once at the envelope, turned, and walked out.

**

Pepper set a mug of tea in front of Tony, and he stared at it morosely. “I did the right thing, right?”

“Right,” Pepper said, but there was something else under her words.

“It felt like the right thing at the time.” Tony stared at his mug and willed it to be coffee. Or vodka. “It felt right.”

“But now?” Pepper prompted gently.

“Now I wanted to curl up and die and never talk to anyone again.”

“Hmm.” Pepper sunk into the chair across from him. “Maybe fight that instinct.”

Tony sighed.

“He broke your heart, Tony.” Natasha piped up from the kitchen. She came back with a bottle of something amber and poured a healthy amount in Tony’s mug. He took a sip and smiled. It burned like paint thinner. “You don’t need that in your life.”

“Right.” Tony nodded. “I’d think we were all good, and then he’d have a fiance, or disappear for a mission, or want to keep me a secret, you know? Or I thought he did. I don't know. It’s too much. I can’t - it’s too much. Right?”

“Right,” Nat and Pepper said together.

The door burst open, and Rhodey marched in, pulling off his jacket. “I got the text. What? What happened?”

“Tony turned down Steve,” Pepper said gently. “He came by and apparently the thing at SHIELD was just a misunderstanding. Steve never wanted to break up. He was trying to protect Tony from getting hounded. He asked to go out again, and Tony said no.”

Rhodey rounded on Tony. “Are you out of your damn mind?”

“What?!” 

“You’ve been pining over this boy since _ elementary school,  _ Tony. And then you got to know him for real, and you fell even more in love. He listens to you blab on about your work, and he makes you laugh, and DUM-E likes him. Every time you talk about him, you’ve got hearts in your eyes. Even when he’s causing you pain. Look, I am first in line to beat his ass sideways if he actually hurts you, but Tony -” Rhodey crouched down in front of the couch “- he might have fucked up a lot, but it sounds like he never hurt you on purpose. He’s just as bad at relationships as you are. Frankly, you two are made for each other.” Rhodey paused for breath then gestured to the envelope in Tony’s lap. "What’s that?"

“Oh. He drew this for me,” Tony said morosely, handing over the picture. A cartoon DUM-E chased a little cartoon Steve - in full Captain America armour - around the workshop, brandishing a fire extinguisher. Cartoon Tony laughed in the background, his smile huge and bright. It was beautiful and heartfelt and _ real. _

Rhodey looked down at the drawing then back up Tony again. “If you really don’t think he’s worth it, I support you, Tony. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. The way you talk about him. Is it really not worth trying? What you guys had barely had a chance to get off the ground.”

Tony stared blankly at Rhodey for a moment, feeling the burn of the spiked tea all the way down to his toes. “Oh fuck.” He dropped his face into his hands. “I made the wrong decision, didn’t I?” He'd been scared, he still was, but now it was really sinking in, what Steve had said. He'd offered to  _ beg  _ for another chance with Tony. And Tony had just said no? Dismissed him out of hand? All because he'd been too caught up in his own panic to give Steve the benefit of the doubt, or even, fuck, just  _ talk  _ to him.

“Pretty much,” Nat added. 

“Yeah, Rhodey’s right,” Pepper said. “I just didn’t want to, you know…”

"You're upset," Nat went on. "Why don't you just get some rest tonight, and you can decide in the morning if you want to see him again?"

“He’s leaving for a mission!” Tony wailed. “And he’ll never want to talk to me again after he’s gone for weeks thinking that I hate him. Or he’ll meet someone else wherever he’s going - _ fuck. _ Fate has already thrown as many wrenches in the works as it possibly could, this was it. That was my last chance and I fucked it up. And he drew me this…” Tony stared at the picture. Tony had thought the how they met was likely the most embarrassing way possible to bump into your childhood hero, but the way Steve had drawn them was… affectionate. Like he remembered getting doused by Tony's dumb bot with a smile instead of a cringe. That was… that was everything.

“When’s he leaving?” Nat asked.

“Tonight.” Tony sniffed, and Pepper offered him a kleenex, but he shook his head. 

Rhodey looked at his watch. “It’s only four, we’ve got time. Call him.”

“Should I?”

“Do it. Call him.” Rhodey grabbed Tony’s phone from the arm of the chair and shoved it in Tony’s hands. 

Tony tried Steve's cell first but it went straight to voicemail - off. He tried the office number next.

“SHIELD reception, how may I direct your call?”

“Captain Steve Rogers, please.”

“One moment.”

Tony waited, his eyes jumping from Pepper, to Nat to Rhodey. They watched him intensely. “Captain Rogers’ office. How may I help you?”

“Jeffery! It’s Tony Stark. Can you please put Steve on the line?”

“I’m sorry, Captain Rogers asked not to be disturbed.” He sounded genuinely sorry.

“I know he’s preparing for a mission, but this is important. At least just tell me what time they leave,” Tony begged.

“I’m sorry, I can’t release confidential information about missions, and Captain Rogers asked not to have any calls patched through at this time.”

“Okay… okay I get it. Just - if I ask one yes or no question, can you answer it?”

Jeffery was silent, but he didn’t hang up.

“Is Steve still in the building at this moment?”

There was a long pause. “Yes, Sir.”

_ “Thank you,  _ Jeffery. You deserve a raise.” Tony hung up. “He hasn’t left yet, but he’s not taking calls. But, I uh… I still have my visitors pass?”

“Get your coat.” Nat stood, drawing Pepper up with her. “I’m driving.”

**

Tony had had a number of near-death experiences over the years, many of which involved wiring and the phrase “this probably isn’t live,” but there was a moment, as Natasha careened violently around a corner at a speed that should be physically impossible, that he actually felt his mortal soul lift out of his body and stretch towards the light. 

They pulled up in front of SHIELD HQ, and Tony took a moment to shove his heart back into his chest and dig his stomach out from underneath his seat.

“Go!” Rhodey yelled, and Tony scrambled out of the car. As he shuffled through the too-slow rotating doors, the nerves set in. He had a visitors pass, but it was only good for a day that wasn’t today, and he didn’t know how closely they’d look. They hadn’t looked at all last time, but he’d been with Captain America. This time, he was alone.

He swaggered up to the front desk with all the cockiness he could muster, smiled at the receptionist, waving his pass, and made for the metal detectors.

“Excuse me, Sir.” 

He froze. He spun in his heel, smile still pasted on. “Yes?”

“May I see your pass please?”

His eyes flickered over to the metal detectors, and he watched as a man with arms as big as watermelons stepped pointedly across the pass-through. He crossed those mammoth guns over his chest and fixed his stern gaze on Tony. Tony swallowed. He briefly considered just going for it, a la the little kid from Love, Actually (which he absolutely had not watched and cried profusely over), but while it was cute and romantic when an 8-year-old did it, he was pretty sure it would end with him being shot, tased, or arrested. Most likely all three.

He turned back to the receptionist and tugged his pass off his neck to lay it on the counter. “Those are lovely flowers,” he said, beaming as charismatically as he could manage and gesturing towards the vase of lilies on her desk. “Someone special give them to you?” He winked.

She regarded him with the expression of a cat owner discovering a hairball on their favourite shirt. “My grandmother died,” she growled.

“Oh.” Tony’s smile evaporated. “My condolences.”

“This is for over a week ago.” She held the pass between two fingers and glared at him over her glasses. “These passes are for one day only. Who are you here to see?”

Tony opened his mouth then closed it again. He couldn't help remembering Brock’s comment about “puppies.” If he said, “Captain America” this woman was going to think he was a Cap groupie busting in, looking for an autograph. But what else could he say? “Ste-”

“Maria Hill,” came Pepper’s clear voice from behind him. He spun around. “My apologies.” She arrived at the desk next to Tony and set her phone down pointedly on the counter. “We have an appointment in five minutes with Assistant Director Hill on behalf of Stark Industries. This is my chief engineer.” She turned to Tony. “I’m so sorry, Tony. I should have told you that pass wouldn’t work today, we need new passes.”

Tony snapped his mouth shut and nodded, trying not to grin. “Right, of course. My bad.” 

The woman eyed them suspiciously but turned to her computer. She typed for a moment then reached under her desk and produced two badges. “Fifth floor, last office at the end of the hall. Agent Hill is expecting you.” She set them on the counter.

“Thank you.” Pepper grabbed the passes and hustled Tony through the metal detector and past Watermelon Arms. 

“What the -” he spluttered, but she shot him a look and dragged him into the elevator. He hooked his pass around his neck. “How -?” he hissed.

“Well. You know SHIELD has been after us for a while to arrange a contract for that armoured fabric you developed? I called in the car and told Hill that I’m sorry it’s taken so long to arrange something, because I’d love to speak with her with about it, that I just had a cancellation, and if she was free I could fit her in right now. And then when she hesitated, I told her that unfortunately, if we couldn't meet now it would be a while because I’m about to head out of the country for a month. She rearranged her schedule to squeeze me in.”

Tony gaped. “You are incredible,” he breathed, and Pepper smiled at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now go tell your superhero that.”

“Okay.” The doors sprung open at the hanger floor, and Tony pressed a kiss to Pepper’s cheek before running off. The doors closed again behind him, taking Pepper up to her meeting. Tony spun his pass on his chest so the large FIFTH FLOOR, HILL wasn’t immediately visible, and tried to walk around like he owned the place. It helped that he knew where Steve’s mission prep area was from his tour, and he found it without too much trouble.

There was a group of six agents in tac gear gathered along the far wall by the long benches. Steve was gesturing and talking, pointing at a piece of paper he had in his hand. He was perfect, as always, and Tony couldn’t help but stand and admire him for a moment. He was locked and loaded into his uniform, the very picture of preparedness, but there were dark circles under his eyes and the sadness Tony had seen pinching his expression that morning hadn’t disappeared. Tony felt awful, but it was also somewhat of a relief that Steve was still hurting for him - if that’s what it was. It made it easier to take four brisk steps across the room and catch Steve’s eye over the shoulders of the other agents. 

Steve glanced up at the movement, then did a double take up from the paper he held, his mouth falling open. He said something to the group, handed off the paper, then hustled across the floor to Tony. Behind him, the agents whispered to each other, eyes wide with curiosity. Steve looked stunned instead of happy, and for a moment, Tony panicked. Maybe it was already too late.

“Tony, what’s wrong?”

“I’m an idiot. I’m a stupid, massive, confused, messed up idiot. I just - got overwhelmed. But I do want you Steve. Even with all the Captain America stuff. I want you and me in the workshop, and sharing cake, and your underwear in my dryer. I want what you drew. I want it all. And I’ll talk to you this time, I promise. I just - I let myself get all up in my head, and I couldn't believe that someone like you would want someone like me, so if you do, if you really do, I’m in.”

Steve gaped at him for a moment. “I’m - shit, I have to go in like an hour, Tony…”

“I know. I know, I’m sorry. I get it. I just - didn’t want you halfway around the world thinking I don’t love you. Because I do.” He shot Steve a smile that he hoped wasn’t too shaky. Maybe -  _ maybe -  _ Steve would call him when he got back and they could give this another try. “I’ll go.”

Steve looked back at the gang of agents, then wrapped his fingers around Tony’s forearm and started leading him back towards the elevators. Inside the elevator, Tony gave him an expectant look, but Steve just flicked his eyes up to the corner of the ceiling, and Tony caught sight of the camera there. Oops. Hopefully it hadn’t caught Pep in her little charade. Steve led them in silence down the hall and into his offices. 

“That’s all, Jeffery, you can go home. Thank you.”

Jeffery startled up then saw Tony and gave him a small smile and a thumbs up. He slipped out into the hall, calling, “Thank you, Captain!” as he left.

Steve bundled Tony into his private office then shut the door. He rounded on Tony immediately, his expression unreadable. “You mean that?”

“Of course I do. I was scared and hurt. I take back everything I said at the workshop. It was dumb. I never told you how I felt, Steve. I just expected you to read my mind and then got hurt when you didn’t. I was trying to protect myself because it's hard to believe someone like you wants someone like me. And I get why there are things you didn’t tell me - you’re a fucking superhero. I should have trusted you, but I got all wrapped up in my own shit. I’ve never had someone I could trust like this before so I’m shit at it, but that’s no excuse. I’ll do better, if you give me a chance. I’m in love with you, I want it all, if you’ll have me.”

“Oh my god.” Steve stumbled forward and wrapped Tony in his arms.  _ “Of course  _ I want you. I’m in love with you too. It’s all I’ve wanted. I didn’t want to shove you into my crazy world too fast - and it's so crazy, Tony - so you ended up with all these shitty things happening to you without context, one after the other. I'm awful at this. I’m so sorry.” Steve buried his face in Tony’s neck. “I’m so sorry.”

Tony pressed a hand to either side of Steve’s face and guided their lips together. Steve tripped backwards until he sat down on the edge of his desk, sending something crashing to the floor, and drew Tony in between his knees, tugging him close and deepening the kiss. His fingers worked their way up under the hem of Tony’s shirt until his could spread his palms out over the skin of Tony’s back.

“I really do have to go...” Steve murmured into Tony’s mouth.

“I know,” Tony replied, shifting closer so they were pressed flush with one another.  

“It’s going to be hard, sometimes, dating me," Steve said, breaking the kiss to press his forehead against Tony's. "I wish I could say it won’t be. But I’m away a lot, and the press has a lot of interest in me, and sometimes you're going to hear things about me that aren't true. And sometimes they're going to say things about you that aren't true, if you want to be out about this." Tony nodded, and Steve beamed. "Also... I have to keep secrets for missions. There will be things I can’t tell you. I want to be able to tell you everything, Tony, I swear. But I won’t be able to, and I don’t want you to think you can’t trust me.” He frowned down at their joined hands. “Maybe you can’t…”

“I do trust you, Steve, I do. Every time things went screwy it was because I listened to someone else instead of just asking you. If I’d called you and asked about Sharon you would have told me, right?”

“Of course.”

“And if I’d stayed and asked about what you said to Brock, you would have explained?”

“Yes - I really just didn’t want him to know about us because he’s an absolute dick and he hates me and would do anything to make your life diff-” Tony pressed a finger over his lips to cut him off.

“I know. It was my issue, not yours. It’s hard asking you things like that because I don’t want to come off as needy or pushy or stalkery.” Tony toyed with the flaps on Steve’s uniform. “It was hard enough believing that you wanted to go out with me in the first place, so every time I had reason to be convinced otherwise, I took it. Sorry. I know my silly insecurities are no fun, and really, I mean, you  _ are  _ Captain America, but I know it’s Steve I’m dating. I’ll get there. I'll try.”

“You’re dating both, Tony. And both love you.” Tony’s heart fluttered at the words. “And Cap can be absent and secretive, and Steve can be stubborn and grumpy, but they do both really, really love you. Would it help if I called you every day and told you how much I love you?” He was teasing now, but there was a warmth underneath that had Tony grinning wildly.

“Yes, that’d work out nicely.” Tony stole another kiss.

“My team will be all, ‘Why do you need a secure line  _ again,  _ Cap?’ or I'll have to ask the president to hold so I can give you your daily call.”

Tony rolled his eyes as Steve pressed a kiss to his chin. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re very busy and important.”

Steve smiled. “I will, though. I will call you whenever I can. And if you’re not sure about something, all you have to do is ask, and I promise that if I can tell you, I will.”

“That’s enough for me.” Tony held him close for one last gentle, loving kiss then pushed him towards the door. He winked. “Go save the world, hotshot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I added an epilogue haha, so we're not quite done yet :P One more chapter to come! Thanks for reading!


	5. Epilogue

Tony sprawled out on his bed, picking at the edges of his phone case with restless fingers. He shifted around to his other hip then sighed and pushed up to his knees, peering over the railing to stare at the still-closed door. He couldn't settle. He knew it might be another hour before Steve showed up, but he had Steve's text that he'd landed at SHIELD and debriefs were usually quick. Steve didn't waste time getting showered and out of his uniform; he preferred Tony to help him with that.

Tony tipped back down to bury his face in the duvet and grinned, holding back the urge to scream, just to get the energy out. He held the voicemail button on his phone and waded through the menus until he found his saved voicemails. He hit play. 

"Hey, darling. You're sleeping. Because you're always sleeping when I'm awake here." Steve let out an adorable, frustrated huff. "I love you. And miss you. So much, you don't even know. We're making progress here. I think it should only be a few more days. I hope you're sleeping well without me."

Tony played the next one.

"Hey, darling. Today was wild. I took a hit, but just a small one. I'll be healed by the time I get back to you, don't worry. It was rough for a bit there. Everyone else is alright. Though, I think Agent Harker is starting to wonder if I'm a double agent since I sneak off so often to call you. Hoping to catch you awake one of these days, but I know it's unlikely. Love you."

Tony's grin widened. He  _ had  _ caught him awake the next time, because after that message, Tony had stayed up for 34 hours straight, determined to catch Steve's next call. And he had. He scrolled past the next two and pressed play on the latest one.

"I'm stateside! God, I can't wait to see you. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Tony had shot him back a text:  _ Can't wait to see you,  _ to let Steve know he was home, but had resisted the urge to call him back.. Steve was almost certainly in meetings right now, and if he stepped out to answer Tony's call, it would only be that much longer before he was here in Tony's arms instead of just in his phone.

After three months of dating, it was getting a bit easier when Steve had to go away for missions, in that Tony worried less that when he came back, Steve might have fallen out of love. But they were harder in other ways. Now that Tony knew what it was like to have Steve in his life - really in his life - it was extraordinarily hard to extract him again, even just for a few days. 

They'd spent almost every day of the last three months together, either at Tony's place, at Steve's, or out on the town. Steve had offered to go public with their relationship immediately, but to both their surprise, Tony had changed his mind and asked to wait. They told their friends, most of whom were Tony's friends since it was becoming increasingly clear that Steve had very few people in his life. Steve told a few people at SHIELD - including Hill and Jeffery, who already had deep suspicions - but that was it. Steve's exact words had been "I'll shout it from the fucking rooftops the second you ask me to, Tony." but Tony had wanted to keep it just for them, for as long as they could. 

The press hadn't had much to go on, so far, but Tony knew that once they figured out what was going on, things would change for him. He was ready, he was prepared for it, but that didn't mean he didn't want to stretch this magical honeymoon period as long as they could. And he no longer felt like he needed that reveal to prove to himself that Steve was really in this.

They could still go on dates. One of the great benefits of Steve's superhero persona was the costume. It was stunning how few people recognized him when he was out of the stars and stripes. They went to museums - art, air and space - they went for walks in the park, and Tony took Steve to every restaurant he could think of in New York. It turned out that there was very little modern food that Steve had tried, sticking mostly to what SHIELD provided and a sad collection of frozen meals in his apartment. Tony took it on as his personal challenge to expose Steve to all the 21-st century dining options. And if that meant that a few nights a week they had an excuse for a date night, well, no one was complaining.

It wasn't always easy. Tony was still frequently struck with deep insecurity when he looked at the man he'd miraculously bagged as his boyfriend. And the longer they were apart, the harder it was to deal with the tabloids printing Steve's upcoming engagement to a poplet or his death in some foreign country. Tony had a new system for it though. Instead of panicking, he called Steve. Even if all he could do in the moment was leave a message, it still helped. And Steve always called back as soon as he could and reassured Tony that he loved him and whatever it was wasn't true.

And Steve was more careful too. He hadn't been lying when he said that he was awful at relationships and that it had been a while. He put his foot in his mouth  _ all the damn time,  _ but he'd learned to identify those times, and it'd almost become cute to watch his face turn bright red as he furiously backtracked over some insensitive thing that had slipped free.

So, it wasn't perfect, but it was  _ theirs,  _ and they were working hard for it every day.

Some days were harder than others. Today was hard, but it was about to become so much easier. And then - Tony smirked into his bedspread again - it was about to become a lot  _ harder  _ again. 

He bounced up again, fretting with his phone, and his heart stopped when three knocks echoed through the workshop. "DUM-E! Answer the door." He bit his lip and bounced on the balls of his feet, leaning over the railing to watch.

DUM-E trundled over to the door and swung it open to reveal Steve, in full Captain America regalia, waiting there. DUM-E lifted his fire extinguisher and brandished it threateningly at Steve, who burst out laughing. Tony laughed along with him. That was a sound he would never tired of. 

Steve pushed in, patting the bot on his head as he walked past and kicked the door shut behind him. He dropped the shield and his go bag next to the boot tray and turned his face up to the railing where Tony leaned, smiling serenely at him. There was always a small shock moment, when Tony saw him again, that Steve was really here, really for him, and really  _ real.  _ But it got a little less bizarre every time it happened. 

As Tony watched, Steve went through Tony's favourite transformation. The shield and bag discarded, he started to work the buttons, zippers, and flaps of the uniform open, just as he had the first time they met. Only, this time, Steve's eyes were fixed firmly on Tony, warm and affectionate. He walked across the workshop floor, shedding uniform pieces as he moved. His boots were left scattered across the kitchen tile. His uniform top dropped somewhere by the bottom of the stairs, and his pants slipped off on the top step, until Captain America was completely discarded, and it was nothing but Steve who ran across the bedroom floor to scoop Tony up into his arms.

Tony threw his arms around Steve's neck and buried his face in his undershirt, breathing him in. He smelled like sweat and plane and honestly, not that good, but he also smelled perfectly like Steve, and that was everything. 

It had taken some practice to let go of Captain America. Tony's childhood crush reared its ugly head sometimes, and he'd feel dizzy and lightheaded. But that wasn't real. That was silliness, and the more he got to know Steve, the more he realized that. Steve wasn't Captain America; Cap wasn't real. He was just a figure, a character Steve played on TV. The real Steve, and therefore the real Captain America, was stubborn, and adorable, and sometimes clumsy, and sometimes head-spinningly strong and smooth. He was always hungry, but he couldn't cook for shit. He was hot as fuck, but his morning breath was atrocious, and he got up so god damn early in the morning that most civilized countries would still call it the night before.

And Tony loved it all. Every time he learned something new about Steve, it was easier to leave Captain America behind and love the man in his arms with his whole heart, even more. He loved Captain America, he always would, but he preferred him in a puddle by the door, or tumbling around in the dryer, so he could have nothing but Steve all to himself.

"I missed you," Steve hummed against his lips. 

"Me too."

"I hate it when we're in different time zones."

"Me too." Tony reached up and smoothed the creases of Steve's brow. He carried some missions home with him heavier than others. This one looked weighty. "How did it go?"

"It was hard. But we did what we needed to. Everyone got out okay. I missed you so much." Steve tugged him impossibly closer and ruffled his nose through his hair. 

"I could tell." Tony waved the phone he was still clutching in Steve's periphery.

Steve flushed then laughed. He lifted Tony off the ground and spun, depositing him on the bed, still laughing. Tony threw his head back and his arms wide and let Steve work his way up his chest with kisses, pushing his shirt out of the way as he went. 

"Alright soldier," Tony said after a few minutes of being devoured. "You need a shower and a nap." He wiggled out of Steve's grip and stood beside the bed. He threw off his t-shirt and dropped his boxers to the ground, leaving himself naked under Steve's increasingly heated gaze. "You gonna show me how much you missed me?" Tony raised his eyebrows in challenge, but he couldn't keep the silly grin off his face. 

Steve stalked to the edge of the bed then flung himself at Tony, gathering him up in his arms to throw him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. "Better believe it." He carted Tony off to the bathroom.

Hung upside down over his shoulder, Tony admired the view, reaching out to get two handfuls of that view when his eyes weren't enough to take it all in. 

"Watch it, mister, that's government property you're groping," Steve said.

Tony squeezed with a happy hum. Steve deposited him in the bathroom and started the water, shedding the rest of his clothes. He was dirty and sweaty and beautiful, and Tony wanted to eat him. Tony told him as much.

Steve smirked. "I'll go straight to your hips." He reached out and grabbed Tony's hips, stroking his thumbs over the jutting bones. 

"You'd better," Tony replied, nonsensically. Steve was four football field's worth of smooth, bare skin, and Tony rubbed up against him, his cock hardening. "How much did you miss me?" he murmured in Steve's ear.

Steve backed him into the shower, clutching him harder when the water hit his back and made him startle. "So much…" He dropped to his knees right there in the shower stall and nuzzled into the crease of Tony's hip.

"Fuck, yeah," Tony hissed.

Steve sucked him down to the base, swallowing around his cock and humming in an eager, desperate way that made Tony's toes curl. The water poured over Tony's chest, each drop like a teasing caress, and he tipped his head back into the spray and squeezed his eyes closed. Steve's super strength didn't end in his arms and legs, his mouth was was like a hot vise around Tony's cock, and it wasn't long before Tony was struggling to stay standing. 

Steve eased back, licking a stripe up the underside of Tony's cock, and stood. He wrapped his arm around Tony's waist, holding him steady, then buried his face in the crock of his neck and took Tony in hand instead. He stroked, firm and quick, while he worked the side of Tony's neck over with kisses and nips. 

Steve's tongue brushed behind Tony's ear, and Tony shuddered. He was surrounded by Steve, warm and wet and pressed tightly against him. Tony ran his fingers down Steve's back, digging into the thick cords of muscle on either side of his spine. Water poured over his face and he gasped and spluttered. All his senses were tuned to nothing but Steve, caged here, the rushing water blocking out every sound except his own gasping breaths and the murmured words of praise and appreciation that spilled from Steve's lips onto Tony's skin, washed away soon after only to be replaced with more.

"I'm - ah!" Tony writhed in Steve's hold as Steve twisted his palm on the upstroke to rub over the head of Tony's cock. Pleasure built low and hot and all the tense anticipation of waiting for Steve to arrive was ready to break with it. Tony dropped his hand, skated it over Steve's ass then worked it between their bodies so he could take Steve's cock in hand as well. He tried to match Steve's rhythm, keeping his strokes loose and short, the way Steve liked, but he was so close already, his muscles shook with tension, and he couldn't keep it up. But Steve thrust into his fist, rocking his hips roughly as Tony gave in and relaxed, letting Steve set his own pace.

The soft lights in the bathroom became hazy as Tony reached the peak. He dug the nails of his free hand into Steve's shoulder, the other still wrapped around his cock, and let go with a rough cry and a shiver that ratcheted down his spine and ended with a jolt like lightning to his core.

"You're so gorgeous like this, Tony," Steve whispered in his ear. He shuddered as he rocked forward into Tony's loosening hold again.

The water washed away the mess, and Tony tipped his face back into the spray and rubbed his eyes clear with his free hand. Aftershocks of pleasure still rippled through him, but instead of being wiped out, Tony felt refreshed, invigorated. He grinned at Steve before pulling him in for a heated kiss. Then he dropped to his knees. 

"Oh, Tony," Steve cried, as Tony swallowed him down.

Steve liked Tony's hands on him to be rough and quick, but when it was his mouth, Steve was all about deep and slow. Tony rocked back, letting the ridge of Steve's cockhead catch on his lips then pressed forward again until his nose was buried in Steve's stomach. Tony flicked his eyes up but had to close them quickly as water cascaded over his head. Steve was leaning with both hands against the tile wall, staring down at Tony as the shower pounded over his head, his hair falling in wet strands around his face, a waterfall gushing off his cheeks and chin. 

Tony closed his eyes with that beautiful vision in his mind and fell into the rhythm of sucking Steve off. It didn't take long at all. Steve rarely had much alone time on missions, and it was delightfully evident in how quickly Tony could send him wild and the sheer volume of his come when he lost it.

Steve's hips twitched in little aborted thrusts as Tony kept working him over until Steve tugged back with a groan, dropped a hand to his cock and stroked once, shooting hot and hard all over Tony's face. Tony grinned up at him, eyes still squeezed shut, as the water mixed with the mess on his face. He felt Steve's thumb brush over his bottom lip.Tony leaned back and let the shower wash him clean, still thrumming with the dual pleasure of his own release and the satisfaction of bringing Steve his.

Steve reached down and switched the water off, pulling Tony up and into his arms. He kissed him softly, his wet hair dripping in Tony's eyes. They washed each other's hair, Steve's movements getting slower and heavier as time dragged on.

When they were clean enough, Tony wound their fingers together and eased Steve out of the shower, seeing the heavy weariness finally catch up to him. Tony had planned dinner, maybe curling up with a movie, but it was clear Steve wouldn't make it through the heating up of food, let alone anything beyond. So, Tony scrubbed them both with a towel then pulled Steve into the bedroom and deposited him on the bed.

Steve sighed, his eyes drifting shut, as Tony reorganized the ruffled blankets. "I shouldn't sleep too long or I'll wake up ridiculously early tomorrow," Steve muttered.

"You'll wake up ridiculously early tomorrow anyway, but I'll set an alarm. You need a nap, love."

"Okay…" He was already slipping away.

Tony set his phone alarm for an hour, then looked down at the tired pinch in the corners of Steve's eyes and made it an hour and a half instead. He crawled up on to the bed and spread out over Steve's chest. Tony thought Steve was asleep, but his arm came up and wrapped snugly around Tony's waist, his face turning to burrow into Tony's hair. 

"I love you so much," Steve whispered."I never knew what coming home felt like until I started coming home to you."

Tony tucked his nose in the curve of Steve's neck and breathed him in. He had a pretty good idea, himself, of what home felt like. "I will always be here to come home to," he promised, as Steve's breathing smoothed out and his hand went limp, sliding down Tony's back to settle on his hip. "Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to post! Here is the final epilogue and that's all folks! Thanks for reading <333

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come poke me on tumblr! festiveferret.tumblr.com
> 
> <3


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